Meet Celeste & Danielle
How We Got Here
People ask us all the time how we ended up doing what we do. After all, ours is a very unique approach to helping people around their sexuality, relationships, and lives. We met at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, where we trained in an embodied approach to sexual transformation. One day, after the class had ended, we met up to attend a sexuality conference. At lunch, we sat down on a bench at the Presidio overlooking the San Francisco Bay and dreamed up a class that would bring together all we had learned in our rich educational and personal histories with our own unique take on experiential learning around sex and relationships.
We started with a strong belief that the most profound learning happens through experiences. We then created our first workshop for men on how to be extraordinary lovers to women. As we continued working with clients, we found that, when people who were stuck in unhelpful patterns did and experienced something different in our workshops or offices, they were able to take these new tools out into the world and transform their lives. This is how the Somatica Method was born.
In Somatica we believe that there is no right way to be sexual or have a relationship. With each individual and couple who walks through our door, we come with an open mind and an open heart, inviting each person’s uniqueness to come forth and celebrating them who they are emotionally and sexually. Every person is complex and each person has their own desires, boundaries, wounds and protectors.When it comes to sex, it is essential that each person understands their own deepest desires and routes to arousal and pleasure. In relationships, each partner needs to embrace their lover’s sexual desires and then see which of them they want to learn and engage in. There can be so much shame, fear and judgment when it comes to sexual desires. Because of this, Somatica is all about celebrating the beauty of each person’s desires and seeing what is possible for them in their lives to get these desires met.
When it comes to sex, it is essential that each person understands their own deepest desires and routes to arousal and pleasure. In relationships, each partner needs to embrace their lover’s sexual desires and then see which of them they want to learn and engage in. There can be so much shame, fear and judgment when it comes to sexual desires. Because of this, Somatica is all about celebrating the beauty of each person’s desires and seeing what is possible for them in their lives to get these desires met.
When it comes to emotional connection, we help people listen to one another and practice empathy and acceptance. When couples open the door to being with each other in honesty and vulnerability, all the best things happen. Over the years, we have seen so many variations on desire and relationships and we have developed a deep understanding and the accompanying tools to help couples find their own best path to lasting sexual and emotional fulfillment. In Somatica we believe that every person and every relationship between people is unique and beautiful in its own right. There is no right way to be sexual or live a life. With each individual and couple who walks through our door, we come with an open mind and an open heart, inviting each person’s uniqueness to come forth and celebrating them who they are emotionally and sexually. Every person is complex and each person has their own desires, boundaries, wounds and protectors.
In order for people to have the sex life and relationships that they want and for a couple’s sexual relationship to thrive, they need to understand their own and their partners Hottest Sexual Movie, find where they’re compatible, learn each other’s movies within boundaries, and accept their partner’s movie even if they cannot fulfill all of it.
With couples, we help you listen to one another and see each other through the lens of acceptance as well. When you open the door to being with your partner with honesty and vulnerability, all the best things happen. Over the years, we have seen so many variations on desire and relationships and we have developed a deep understanding and the accompanying tools to help couples find their own best path to lasting sexual and emotional fulfillment.
How We Live
In service of your individual and relational transformation, we bring all our wisdom, playfulness, power, love, energy, gentleness, freedom, celebration, sexiness and joy into engaging every area of our lives, including our work with clients. It is through this kind of engagement that our clients can heal old wounds and shed the barriers that hold them back from what they truly desire.
We live what we teach. We are human and we practice every day at being the truest to ourselves that we can be.
Every day, we do our best and we make mistakes. We practice compassion, which includes being gentle on ourselves and our loved ones. We feel into what we want and make our best efforts to ask for it. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable and are responsive to others vulnerability. We take responsibility for our choices and support people’s choicefulness.
We keep our boundaries, support the boundaries of others and stay to listen when people are disappointed by them or have other responses. We are honest and committed and help people define their commitments. We honor our capacities and the differing capacities of others. We practice being shameless and creating a space that is non-judgmental so others can move beyond the shame that constricts and isolates them. We give and receive care and are empathetic listeners when people share their feelings.
What We Know
We know that change is possible because we see it in our offices and in our lives every day. We know each person can create relationships that fully support and nourish them and that sexuality and relationships can be an incredible part of life everyone’s life.
Now is your time to blossom into the loving, sexual, connected and choice full person that you were always meant to be. When given the knowledge to attain it and the freedom to express it, you can experience unlimited erotic energy, creativity, and pleasure. There are a thousand paths to enlightenment and happiness, why not take the one that is most pleasurable!
The Somatica® Method
Beyond Sex and Relationship Therapy
Imagine an experience of sex and relationship coaching where you can feel safe and comfortable, a place where you can learn how to have the best sex ever and the most loving relationships.The Somatica method offers an interactive and experiential approach to better love and relationships based on up-to-date neuroscience about how people learn.
Through this compassionate and personal process you will change unhealthy emotional patterns and sexual dysfunction so that you can find your true self and create the sex and relationship that is right for you. Whether you are in a sexless marriage, want to have a better dating experience, want to expand your sexual horizons or want to have stronger emotional intimacy we will help you create a life that is full of passion, communication, great sex, personal freedom, fulfillment and joy.
In this revolutionary intimacy coaching method, you will be able to engage in real-time interactions with your partner and/or your sex coach, while receiving support, guidance and feedback.
How the Somatica Method Works
The Somatica Method offers you a real experience of loving, accepting connection. Most people have not experienced the safety, relaxation and freedom that this kind of attachment connection offers. For adults, a holistic experience of attachment includes intimacy and erotic connection so Somatica includes erotic connection and learning. As you are establishing your own embodied sense of secure attachment and erotic expansion in a safe and loving container, we help you overcome any obstacles in the way of bringing yourself fully to the sex and relationships you have or desire to have.
In Somatica Sex and Relationship Coaching Sessions, you will:
- Connect with your true self and find out what you want out of sex and relationships
- Receive clear and accurate sensual technique and sex education
- Find out your personal relationship style so you can teach people how to love you
- Learn how to make sex better so you can replenish and refuel through your connections
- Avoid having the same horrible fights over and over again by having great communication
- Increase your sexual self-esteem and create a successful relationship
- Bring powerful presence and intense desire into every sexual interaction
- Move beyond routine “marriage sex” or sexless relationships into more exciting and connected sexual relationship
Why Choose A Somatica Sex and Relationship Coach:
- Traditional sex therapy or couples therapy methods of talking about and understanding your patterns do not necessarily lead to change, while body-based, experiential learning results in real transformation
- Most sex therapy usually ends when things are “okay” while the Somatica Method leads to amazing sex and lasting satisfaction
- Traditional sex therapy offers videos, books and homework, your Somatica sex and relationship coach offers you practice, mastery and experiences that you can immediately implement in your life
- Marriage therapists generally have very little training around sexuality so they don’t understand the subtle connections and differences between sex and intimacy; your Somatica sex and relationship coach is a trained expert on both sexuality and relating
We look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life and relationship you desire!
Professional Training in the Somatica method
If you are a professional who is interested in learning the tools of sex and relationship coaching to enhance your practices, join us on our Somatica Institute website.
Have a question? We may have answered it below. If you’d like more info Contact us today.
Traditional sex therapy often focuses on sexuality from a medical or dysfunction-based viewpoint. Sex therapy usually ends when things are “OK” and rarely shoots for “great,” “mind-blowing” or “out-of-this-world” sex. Often, problem-resolution takes a long time and rarely goes into enhancement or expansion around sexuality. Like some traditional sex therapists, we are highly educated and trained sexologists so we can provide you with all of the research-based information that a sex therapist can provide. While many sex therapists resort to using books and videos, we go beyond homework because people don’t always do their homework and, even when they do, they can’t necessarily see what might be missing in their interactions. Because of this, we offer experiential and hands-on education in sessions, so we can see what is missing which results in us being able to offer more specific and accurate practices for change. This creates much quicker, more effective and lasting transformation and a sense of mastery that will transform your daily life.
Tantra is a three-phased spiritual path that takes years to master. In the West, most Tantra teachers and workshops do not teach the full path, instead, they teach a small segment that focuses on sexuality, massage, and breathing. While we incorporate some Tantric ideas and methods into our teachings, such as experiencing the world through all of your senses, we do not believe that any kind of sexual expression is the best and don’t insist that you adopt a new language or complicated types of breathing. Instead, we invite you to celebrate your sexuality as an expression of your personal freedom. We will support you in exploring your sexuality the way that you want to without judgment, and we will encourage you to find your own places of comfort, joy and expansion.
There are many people out there calling themselves life coaches and some of them are quite good, especially if you already have a good idea of what you want to do. Unfortunately, most people begin pursuing a path before really getting in touch with their deepest and most important desires. Our coaching begins by connecting you with your sexuality and helping you tap into your heartfelt desires, desires that may have been ridiculed or that you may have denied yourself in the past. Because we begin with desire and pleasure instead of jumping right into goals, our coaching will help you experience the most pleasurable life you can, and help you expand your ideas of what is possible for you. Additionally, very few coaches are trained to deal with sexuality, while we are highly trained experts in the field of sexuality and the coaching we offer can help you transform every aspect of your life, from your sexual connection and relationship to your personal and professional life.
The Bay Area is full of sexuality-related workshops, however, most teachers do not have a degree and have never studied sexuality. Unfortunately, this often results in teaching medically incorrect or contradictory information, such as incorrectly defining orgasm. Because we have studied sexuality from academic, therapeutic and experiential perspectives, we base all of our teachings on research, while at the same time offering hands-on, experiential learning opportunities. We are also capable of dealing with emotional issues that can arise in our workshops/coaching. Additionally, while other teachers may expect you to conform your sexual behaviors and desires to their belief system, with little respect for individual choice or freedom, in our coaching and workshops we emphasize the importance of boundaries, comfort and personal choice, while you explore new and exciting experiences.
Bringing in a new sex toy can be great fun, however, the process of choosing the right toy can be filled with a lot of trial and error, mostly because people don’t have a lot of information about how their bodies, pleasure and orgasms work and which toys would be best for them. In our workshops and individual coaching we teach men and women all about their bodies, help them discover what kinds of orgasms are possible for them and how to choose, embrace and effectively use sex toys. As for bringing in new experiences like porn, fantasy or other kinds of experimental enhancements, sometimes negotiating these new experiences can be difficult and filled with misunderstanding. One partner may get their feelings hurt, thinking that they are not enough or there may be judgments. We help you talk openly and honestly about your desires, negotiate desires and boundaries and embrace experimentation, so that you can talk about what you really want without shame or guilt. We have seen couple’s sex lives explode with new passions and enjoyments after only a few coaching sessions.
Yes, you can start with Cockfidence – The Extraordinary Lovers Guide to Being the Man you Want to Be and Driving Women Wild, which will give you tremendous insight into both yourself and the women you are with and goes far beyond just offering a set of new techniques, which is what most sex advice books focus on. At the same time, you may want to check out a workshop because becoming an extraordinary lover to women takes practice and real-time, honest feedback from women who know what women want. In our workshops we teach you the 9 qualities of an extraordinary lover, and, more importantly, you get to practice all of these qualities and get personal feedback about how you come across to women. We teach you how to apply new sexual techniques differently with different women by reading their non-verbal cues and learning how to elicit feedback. This is the quickest way to advance in your lovemaking skills. Don’t spend years in trial and error when you can spend a single day and come out an extraordinary lover.
We are Certified Sexological Bodyworkers, and also Professors who train new Sexological Bodyworkers at the Institute for Advanced Study of Sexuality. The certificate means that the Institute is approved by the State of California to offer training in the body-based work we use with our clients. We also differ from other Sexological Bodyworkers in that we use many other therapeutic approaches including The Somatica Method of sex and relationship coaching, which we developed; The Hakomi Method of therapy; a combination of traditional and somatic sex coaching approaches; role-play, real-time experience and feedback and many other talk, experiential and body-based methods to help you experience the most transformation in the shortest period of time.
We also believe in the power of alternative approaches to health, particularly in their focus on holistic solutions that take account of every part of your being. Practices such as yoga and meditation can deeply enhance your life, yet they may never touch on your sexual or erotic life. Thus, we work in conjunction with your practices to support you in expanding sexual and sensual pleasure in your daily lives. We teach you how to experience more joy and comfort in your body and learn to fully give, receive, and relax into pleasure because we know that nurturing your life force is the best preventative medicine there is!
While it is true that some types of sexual difficulties can be rooted in physiological problems such as hormonal imbalances or limited blood flow, many of them also have a mental component or can be overcome through getting more in touch with the body. Medical doctors will often jump immediately to prescription drugs because they are not aware of alternative approaches. Often erectile problems can be overcome by lowering anxiety, tuning into sensation and releasing shame and other emotional blocks. We have had a great deal of success helping clients to get and maintain erections without medication. We have a number of articles in our blog that talk about sexual mastery and erectile dysfunction (ED).
Vacations are wonderful, take as many as you can! At the same time, while a vacation may temporarily bring back the spark, this is often a short-term fix instead of a long-term solution. If you want a deeply fulfilling, satisfying and long-lasting sexual connection with your partner, you will need to learn how to bring passion back into your day to day life so that everyday can be full of sensuality and desire. In our Couple’s Sex and Relationship Coaching and our Passionate Vacations for couples, we teach you how to weave passion, connection, intimacy and excitement into your life and to keep the spark alive whether you have just started a relationship or have been together for 20 years.