Celeste & Danielle Offer Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Passionate, Connected and Fulfilling Life

Women have long been robbed of their erotic power. But can reclaiming your sexual empowerment help you in daily life?

To address this and other women’s issues, we made a 9-video series, talking about everything from erotic empowerment, PMS, and foreplay tips, to how to have the best orgasms and do anal pleasure right.

In this first video, we teach how to connect to your body and harness your sexual energy to feel strong, empowered, and get what you want – in life, in bed, and at work.

 

 

(Below is the slightly edited video transcript)

 

Why Women are Not Sexually Empowered

Celeste: To be a successful woman in the world, you have to be erotically empowered.

I want to start out by saying that women have been robbed of their sexual power in the world. We have been told that sex is dangerous, that there’s something wrong with us if we want sex. We have been slut shamed left and right when we do show ourselves as sexual beings. And that takes away our power in every area of our lives.

If you want to be a successful career woman, if you want to be a successful mother, if you want to be a great friend, and especially if you want to be an amazing lover and partner – you have to find this part of yourself.

 

Danielle: You might sound completely unheard, or weird, or think … how are these two things are related to each other. How come your empowerment in the world is related to your sexual empowerment?

The truth is that everything – your knowledge, your intuition, your ability to find what you want – is settled in your pelvis and in your gut. And if we are walking in the world, just thinking and saying “oh I think I want that”, we don’t have anything to ground it or to base it off.

 

What is Erotic Empowerment?

Celeste: So – what is women’s erotic empowerment?

I think you were making a really good point. You have to be in your body in order to be erotically empowered. You have to feel your desire on a deep embodied level.

But also I think it really means knowing what you want as a woman. And not just in general, in the world, or in your career. But knowing what you want sexually, as a woman. And being completely unashamed about it. Also being willing to go out and get it for yourself. Not just wait for it to come to you.

Because that’s what we’re taught. We’re thinking: “You know, maybe, some man out there is going to teach us about our sexuality. Or maybe some woman is going to come out and teach us about our sexuality.” But it’s never like: “I’m gonna figure out who I am in this realm, and what I want.”

 

How to Connect to your Sexual Power

Danielle: I don’t think it’s very obvious for people – how sexuality is the thing that makes them empowered. For women, I think it’s a missing link there.

They look at sex as such a compartment in their life. These are things that you do in the bedroom. With one person, who is the love of your life. And women are not taught to feel: “Oh, this is the thing that wakes me up in the morning. And this is the thing that puts a stride in my walk because I feel my pelvis, and I feel my sexual energy.

I think this link is really important to make. Because when you know what you want sexually, and you feel that that is your right, and it’s something that feels good and feeds you, and you feel like “Mmmm I want that” – then you feel comfortable asking for what you want.

Feeling along the ripples of pleasure in your body, you start to walk differently in the world, feel your selfness. You walk around and you feel your hips moving. You feel like your sexual energy is spreading throughout and coursing through your body. And then everything starts to feel brighter. You see the sunshine, you see leaves, you see people, you see children. You feel feelings. It’s worth trying.

 

The Benefits of Sexual Empowerment

Celeste: And you feel connected, right? You feel connected to yourself. And that helps you connect to all of the people that you love in the world.

I know we think of sex as this taboo thing that’s supposed to be separate. It’s kind of cast aside in our society. But it’s also part of our aliveness. It’s not just what we do in the bedroom. It’s who we are as beings. And when we’re strutting around in energy, and going after what we want, I think people really feel it. And they respect us more as humans when they don’t see us hiding our desire, or hiding who we are in that realm.

Now that you realize why it’s worth your time to be erotically empowered, we’re going to teach you how to get into your pussy power!

 

Join us soon for Episode 2 of the series: How to Awaken Your Sexual Power as a Woman.

If you liked our video, don’t miss any another episode by subscribing to our YouTube Channel!

The other day, I called Kaiser to talk about vagina care.

I can feel some slight changes, including vaginal dryness and pain after intercourse. My vagina has served me very well thus far and I plan to continue our wonderful relationship. We both deserve heaps of TLC, so I wanted to find out about what my vagina care options were to make sure she stays supple and ready for action!

 

Coconut Oil for Vaginal Dryness

Here’s what Kaiser had to say about HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) as vaginal dryness treatment:

— They recently did a study comparing HRT cream to coconut oil.  The latter would get applied once or twice a day as natural hormone replacement therapy for vaginal dryness. They found that coconut oil worked just as well as HRT cream as a female dryness cure, solving the problems that happen as we age.

— In case coconut oil for vaginal dryness doesn’t work or is not an option for you because of allergies, they are currently doing a cancer study on an HRT ring that offers an even lower dose of hormones than the cream. Keep your eye out for the results!

— Any kind of hormone replacement therapy increases your chance of breast cancer, but pills are by far the worst.

 

Coconut Oil as Lube

We also talked about coconut oil as a viable substitute for lube.

Kaiser recommended applying it inside of the vagina at least a half hour before intercourse. This seemed like too little time for absorption to me. To be safe, I plan to try this vaginal dryness treatment a few hours before having sex. They also cautioned that you cannot use coconut oil as lube if you are using it with condoms.

If you’re allergic to coconut, they suggested going with an established lube, but certain lubes are much better for happy vaginas than others. Some lubes cause pH imbalances and kill the healthy bacteria in your vagina, so they advocated for the following lubes:

Good Clean Love: Almost Naked Personal Lubricant

Slippery Stuff Gel

Sliquid: Organics Natural

Sliquid: H2O

They said to avoid lubes that contain chlorhexidine gluconate or polyquaternium.

 

General Vagina Care

They also sent a list of other hot tips about vagina care in general:

— Avoid all soap. Only wash with warm water and gently pat dry.

— Do not douche.

— Do not use baby wipes nor wet wipes on the vulva.

— Wear all cotton underwear. Try to avoid synthetic and silk underwear.

— Wash your underwear separately with a mild fragrance-free detergent. Use the extra rinse cycle and do not use fabric softener or dryer sheets.

— Do not use any topical products containing benzocaine (such as Vagisil).

— Only use feminine hygiene products (menstrual pads, tampons) when you are menstruating. Avoid daily use of these products. If possible, try to use organic, chemical-free feminine hygiene products. Some women even find these products irritating. If that is the case consider using all cotton menstrual pads.

— Do not use any feminine hygiene sprays nor deodorants.

— Do not use baby powder or talcum powder.

— After exercising or swimming, change out of your wet clothes to limit your exposure to excess moisture and heat.

 

Thanks, Kaiser! I appreciate that you did not push pills but instead gave the alternative, food-based option of coconut oil for vaginal health. I’m so glad you are doing research on how to take care of our vaginas and stay cancer free…

I thank you, my vagina thanks you, and I KNOW my lovers will thank you too!

Love,

Celeste

In an ideal world, Mother’s Day would be a time for moms to sit back, relax, and get their needs met – without having to run the show. But, what actually happens more often than not is that mothers have to plan their own festivities. And then they also have to act delighted and surprised when they receive the card they bought, or the “priceless” piece of Crayola artwork. So if you want to pamper her for this Mother’s Day – why not try an experience gift for mom? Here are some ideas:

How Can I Make My Wife Feel Special on Mother’s Day?

A lot of men ask us, “How can I make my wife feel special on Mother’s Day?” If you’re someone who is romantically partnered with a mom, you may not be able to step up the children’s gift game, but you can still make the effort to find out what she really wants… from her.

Let us spell it out: we are not talking about material gifts (although go ahead and do that, too). We mean you can use this day as a reminder to give her the exact brand of sex, romance, or physical attention she really wants from you. And, if you don’t know what she really likes – or you need a refresher – finding it out would be a great gift in and of itself.  

 

Meaningful Mother’s Day Gifts

Helping couples communicate about this is our specialty, so feel free to reach out if this sounds overwhelming. But there are still plenty of ways to give wonderful (and free) tokens of your love and appreciation to mom that can signify an immensely meaningful Mother’s Day gift.

Here are a few tips that can help you turn this Mother’s Day into a less material affair, and more of a memorable experience gift for mom. We’ve even made them into a simple little song…

 

This Mother’s Day – Stop, Look, and Listen

  1. Stop – Moms never get to stop. Even an official day of celebration for them can feel like a chore she needs to plan and may feel pressured to enjoy. So why not start by clearing the social calendar – make some time to be together without kids, without devices, and without any agenda.  Give her a chance to stop, and just relax. This may not be easy for either of you, and it will definitely take some work on your part to clear away those pesky to-do’s – but the resulting connection is guaranteed to make it worthwhile for the both of you.
  2. Look – Take a real look at this woman. Not for all she does – there is no way to show that full gratitude – but for who she is. Take her in. Find a specific part of her that you have not given enough attention to. Spend some time counting her beauty marks or freckles, or how many kisses it takes to get from one spot to another. Take a good look at her and let her feel it.
  3. Listen – You know what is crazy sexy to moms? Someone actually paying attention to them (sad, we know). But this tends to be a rare occurrence. Feeling heard is very sexy for many reasons. Leaning in and really listening might be one of the most important skills a lover can have – so this is possibly the  most meaningful experience gift for mom there is!

Love is an experience gift for mom

Remember when you first started dating? You couldn’t wait to have that first kiss. That’s because it was supercharged with intention, anticipation, and the unknown. Then, as time passes, the make out completely goes out the window and your erotic connection gets relegated to sex and the bedroom.

It’s time to rediscover the lost art of the make-out…

When you think about making out, you might just think it’s a few french kisses and some heavy petting, but the true art of the make-out is actually about bringing surprise and sexiness into different moments throughout the day and throughout your relationship. It’s less about what you do and all about how you do it. Instead of bringing silly slaps on the ass or quick pecks on the lips, the make-out is about taking a moment to take seriously and savor your connection.

  • Sneak up slowly from behind – gently wrap your arms around your partner’s waist and kiss their neck, bring some breath and bites in between the kisses to spread sensation down their spine. If they are taller than you, you can come up behind them when they are sitting down.
  • Look in your partner’s eyes – and give them a lingering kiss followed by a single, sincere knockout sentence. We heard one in our office last week from a couple who had been together for 10 years, he looked across the couch and said, “I’m just looking at your eyes, they are still the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.” As you can imagine this was more impactful than flowers or chocolates.
  • Ignore a movie – put on a movie you both love that you’ve seen too many times. Then, intermittently ignore it while going slowly through the bases. Don’t do more than one base per scene!
  • Recreate your first kiss – This never gets old. After some time it can be hard to see your partner with the kind of fascination and awe you had at the beginning. Taking a minute to recreate some aspects of a first encounter can set the stage for telling each other all of the things you found sexy then and adding some newer additions.

So lovers, this V-day instead of trying to do something elaborate, get back to basics and enjoy the hot, lasting, surprising pleasure of an epic makeout session.

We were just joking about the 5 Easy Steps. But we do think it’s time to lose your reputation you’ve been trying so hard to protect! So here’s a story by (and about) Celeste that we think will help you find your freedom instead…

When The Rumors Started

One Monday morning in 8th grade, as I jogged slowly around the block with my fellow students in PE class in the small town where I grew up, one of my classmates jogged up next to me and said: “So, I heard you gave head to John last night in Nate’s treehouse.” Simultaneously, I felt the wind knocked out of me and my flight response kicked in full-force. I started to run as fast as I could. Looking back now, I know I was trying to run away from this image of me as a girl who would give a blowjob at a party to someone she wasn’t even really dating. Never having been any kind of jock, it was certainly the fastest I’d ever run in PE.

Nevermind that the furthest I had ever gone with a boy was a french kiss and a little touching of my breasts over the shirt. But for the sake of the rumor mill, the fact that I had breasts – really big ones for my young age – combined with my flirtatious personality were enough to brand me as a slut. When I first heard the news, I felt a very strong need to clear up my reputation, to make sure people knew that I had done no such thing. At the same time, I was perhaps lucky to have been born in the early 70’s, into a family who had fully embraced being part of the hippie counterculture. It had never been our motto to fit in or be what everyone else thought we should be. My dad was an avid stoner and, by this time, my mom had already begun her career as a Tarot reader.

And I, whether I liked it or not, was going to be seen as a slut. It didn’t take me too long to stop running and to wholeheartedly embrace the slut image. After all, I was really horney. I loved to flirt and feel people’s attraction towards me. Though I didn’t have sex with lots of guys, I started having sex relatively early and had had 5 partners by the end of high school. I also loved to make out at parties and I really, really loved dressing sexy. I liked the attention and I liked showing off my big, beautiful breasts.

Letting the “Good Girl” Go

There was something about losing the reputation of being a “good girl”, (something I still love to be called during sex), that also freed me up from worrying too much about being good in general. We, humans, are complex creatures, and to pretend that all of our motives and actions come from a place of love, generosity, and positive purpose is a lie. What’s more, even when we are coming from a place of love, generosity, and positive purpose, others may still see or experience what we are doing differently. They may even feel harmed by something that we are offering from this place.

The wonderful thing about losing your reputation, early and often, is that you don’t have to be shameful, or guilty, or defensive when you do something from the not-so-full-of-love-and-light part of yourself – from the childish, vindictive, or narcissistic part. And, you don’t have to defend yourself if you are doing something from a place of positive intention and someone else experiences what you’ve done as hurtful. Instead, you can “cop to it”. When you can be honest about not being perfect and you can let go of having to be seen as perfect, you get to be human and you get to be more connected.

So Go Ahead and Ruin Your Reputation

Think about it, if you have to defend against, divorce yourself from, or hide from anyone who thinks that something about you isn’t perfect or who is harmed by your best intentions, you will spend a lot of time defending, divorcing yourself, and hiding. If, instead, you step towards people and acknowledge your imperfections and hear their pain.You may even know that they are most certainly gossiping about you behind your back and you can let go of needing that to be different because you can now walk in the world with openness. People may look at you and shake their head disapprovingly saying, “She (or he) is shameless” and you will know that they are right. Turns out being free of shame is not such a bad thing after all.

 

  • Photo by Raj Bandyopadhyay