Recently, we received a wonderfully heartwarming story from a man whose partner experienced a clitoral injury early in life, but is able to have amazing cervical orgasms with him.
With his permission to post anonymously, we wanted to share their journey with you. Perhaps some of their experiences and our suggestions will inspire you to explore your own cervical pleasure.
Hi Celeste!
I recently came across your content and love it! I just watched your cervical orgasm video, and it struck a cord, and had to share our story.
My wife damaged her clitoris in a childhood playground accident and it makes it nearly impossible to have clitoral orgasms. She thought she was just not going to be able to ever orgasm.
It’s this one time in my life I’ve been a hero! On our very first date (we knew each other for while already) we had intensely hot and passionate sex, and she had her very first orgasm! It was actually the 3rd time we had sex that night – I unfortunately didn’t last 5 minutes the first two times out of pure excitement. But the 3rd time I was actually able to compose myself and she had an orgasm.
It was like nothing I had ever experienced in a partner. I don’t think either of us knew it was a cervical – she was just happy to have an orgasm. And that has been our life for the last 19 years! She calls it “Love at first orgasm” 🙂
It’s not always the most convenient, but it has forced us, and especially me to really work on my performance and stamina, and in some weird way (maybe not weird), it makes us more attached.
Anyway, thought you might appreciate the story!
We were so touched and inspired by this cervical orgasm love story, that we corresponded on:
“What a great cervical story!
I can see why it would make you feel more attached because so far she only gets to have her orgasms with you!
And, while it is possible to do self-cervical stimulation (masturbating to cervical orgasm), it is much more challenging. If it ever becomes challenging for you to be able to perform or last long enough, have you ever tried using fingers (need long ones) or toys as well? Might be good to have back-up options in the long-term.
Thank you so much for sharing!”
You know – I’m not going to lie. It does make me feel special! But because we really have to work at it together, it brings us together. There are no shortcuts to orgasm for us. It’s a team effort!
Fingers haven’t worked. I’m blessed with a large penis, but my hands don’t meet the need. She does have a couple of toys that do work, but they take a long time. Even during intercourse, it usually takes 20-30 min. But the payoff is usually multiple rolling orgasms. Is that your typical experience? And any recommendations on toys?
So far, we are both keeping ourselves sexually healthy. She’s does her kegels religiously, and nags me to do mine. I rarely masturbate to ejaculation, instead focus on edging.
But we are both in our mid-40s and fully realize things are changing. Scares her to death! But we do take care of ourselves that way. She has started having perimenopause symptoms over the last year or so. So far hasn’t interfered with anything, but could there be effects to her cervix as a result?
“That sounds about right when it comes to cervical orgasms. The cervix can take a while to warm up, but then feel very good and even bring on multiple orgasms as it does with your wife, once it is sensitized. I find toys that are made from a firmer material to be preferable for both G-spot and cervical stimulation – and I like them slightly curved like the Crystal Glass Pleasure Wand or this one.
It’s great that you both do your kegels and that you practice with edging! In terms of perimenopause and menopause, you never know what hormonal changes can bring – sometimes more arousal, and sometimes less. One way to enhance arousal is making sure that psychological arousal is at its highest in your sexual experiences. This can make up for any loss of turn-on from hormonal changes as well as increase overall turn-on and orgasmic ability. Check out our book Coming Together to find out how to communicate around psychological arousal.
I don’t know the extent of your wife’s clitoral damage, but that the clitoris is actually a much larger organ than once thought. I’m wondering if she ever tried to use a Magic Wand across her vulva at the same time as you were giving her cervical stimulation. The Mimi Soft is also quite strong at its highest setting. I know the combination of clitoral stimulation and cervical stimulation makes my cervical orgasms come much faster. The great thing about the magic wand (or any vibrator of similar strength and vibration), is that the stimulation is quite spread out and may stimulate parts of her clitoris that are still intact.
I hope that helps!”
You rock!!! Thanks for getting back to me with such a comprehensive answer! I am going to check out the toys to perhaps add to her collection, as well as the book!
So far her perimenopause has been some hot flashes, but the worst part for her is insomnia. She never ever had any bouts with insomnia before and now for the last 12-18 months it is a regular battle for her.
Oddly enough, her libido hasn’t decreased in fact she has noted that during ovulation she feels “rabid” or “possessed” by sexual thoughts. Especially during insomnia. It feeds into her insomnia. Is that normal? Have you heard that before? It was so bad one month back in the fall, one night she was so bad she woke me 3 times during the night. I was dead to the world the next day! I’ve read a little that there could be an uptick.
As far as her clit – she can feel sensation, just not enough to orgasm. Oral sex feels great, but she just can’t get there. I love it, but after a while she just pushes me off, flip to her hands and knees, arches her back and asks me pound away so she can orgasm!
I am sure this is opposite of what most couples report. Most probably give up on penetration and revert to oral, whereas oral is foreplay for us. It works for us, but would be great to have options.
Thanks for the chat. It’s great to be able to have a mature conversation on these topics!
We’re so glad he told us his story, and hope you were able to learn something from it.
If you’re curious what exactly a cervical orgasm is, where the best positions are to hit the cervix, or where the cervix is even located in a woman’s body, watch this video:
Still got questions? Wanna work with a sex coach to master orgasms? Find the perfect coach for you!