“I learned a great deal during the workshop, and I expected to learn some new things about women as well as some new skills to make me a better lover. Extraordinarily one of you noticed in the last manual stimulation exercise of the day, that at some stage I had disconnected part of myself from the experience and she asked if I had noticed. (I was quite astounded, but perhaps that level of awareness/presence is just another day in the office for you both!). I realize now that in the last exercise there was something about the experience that made me uncomfortable with what I was feeling and I put up a wall. I now see that within my relationships, I am holding something of myself back in many of them. As I become more intimate with someone (lover or friend) and connect with them, at a certain point there is a boundary where I stop being fully connected in certain situations, and I hold something back. What's interesting, is that this can only limit the potential intensity of connection, energy and experience with my partner (and is doing so). Now that I am aware of, and can recognize the change in, my internal presence/connection when it takes place, I will overcome it. An extraordinary experience, with extraordinary women, and an extraordinary realization has given me an extraordinarily wonderful start on this extraordinary journey to becoming an extraordinary lover.
Recover from an Affair
We get many couples in our sex therapy and relationship Coaching practice hurting and angry as a result of an affair that one of the partners had. Often both partners are feeling ashamed, not understanding how it happened to them, and not knowing what went wrong in their relationship. We can help you recover from an affair and create a deeper connection with your partner while doing so.
In our sex coaching and relationship coaching practice we see people who are beaten down by an affair or multiple affairs, who feel like an affair is the end of the road and that there is no way back from it. Our culture emphasizes that an affair is the unforgivable sin of relationships and encourages people to not forgive affairs to avoid future pain. The fact is that affairs happen and often there is still so much love, connection and family feeling in the relationship that it is worth continuing.
In Somatica sex therapy and relationship coaching session, we can help you understand why it happened to you and your partner and what the affair has to teach you about your needs. We can help you recover from the hurt of the affair and connect on a more intimate level. Affairs happen for many reasons (read why people have affairs). You can recover from an affair and develop a deeper sense of who you are and what you need and who your partner is and what they need. While affairs hurt, they do not need to be the end of your relationship, but an invitation to a different and deeper connection with your partner.
In Somatica Sex Therapy and Relationship Coaching sessions you will:
- Understand why the affair happened
- Overcome the shame of the affair
- Heal together from the hurt of the affair
- Understand what you need in your relationship and how to ask for it
- Be able to be vulnerable and see your partner more clearly
- Learn to accept yourself and your partner for who you are
- Make your contract transparent so you can see and evaluate unspoken agreements
- The Relationship Secret You Shouldn’t Ignore: Everything’s Negotiable
No two relationships are exactly alike, yet we often make assumptions about how relationships are supposed to be. There is a lot of societal pressure, for example, to have a relationship where your agreements are assumed instead of overtly communicated and where you are expected to follow a particular
- Why People Choose to Cheat Even when it Might Destroy their Relationship
In popular culture affairs are portrayed as the ultimate, unforgivable relationship sin. The person who cheats is thought of as untrustworthy at best and, at worst, as downright evil. Yet, affairs happen all the time in relationships. In our work, we have found cheating to be more of a
- The Truth About Lying to Someone You Love
In the hierarchy of unforgivable relational sins, we, as a society, think of lying – and especially the lying associated with “cheating” – as perhaps the worst (non-abusive) relationship sin. Because lying is considered to be a universal evil, a person who lies in their relationship rarely gets much
- What You Don’t Know about Desire is Killing Your Sex Life
It seems that everywhere we look we see couples in long term relationship suffering from challenges in their intimacy and sexual connection. More than half of all marriages end in divorce and a large number of those who stay married report feeling dissatisfaction in their sexual and emotional connection.
- Relationship Lessons Learned From The Ashley Madison Hack
Many have outlined the lessons that can be learned from the Ashley Madison hack in terms of personal privacy and internet security. Others see the site hack as an example of justice being served in what they see as an increasingly immoral world. While we always promote honesty in
- Chances are Your Partner is Attracted to Other People
Not everyone is attracted to people other than their partner, but it is normal and common when people are. The idea of being attracted to others or that your partner is attracted to others might scare you, or might feel like something you don’t want. The fact is that
- The (Don’t) Cheat Sheet: 4 Easy Keys to Avoiding Affairs
OK, let us start by saying that these may not actually be easy, but neither is having an affair and all of the residual problems that follow which can lead to a break up that neither party truly wants. So now that we have been honest with you, we