“This courage allowed me to reconnect with my inner goddess. It awakened a part of me that was neglected and shoved way down.”
Overcome Low Sexual Desire
It’s true – the number one sexual complaint among women is low sexual desire. Many women come to our office feeling shame about their lack of desire, and have been categorized as “low desire” by their therapists, doctors and their partners. If thi
s is your experience, you are not alone. We actually find that many relationship suffer from an imbalance in sexual desires. There are seven major reasons for low sexual desire:
A build-up of resentment in your relationship
When you have been together with your partner for a while, it is often the case that you have gotten into patterns with each other that have lead to a build-up of frustration and resentment in your relationship. If this goes on for too long, you may begin to shut down sexually. In sessions, we can help you clear the resentment that has built up and teach you tools so you can continue to work through challenges as they arise instead of letting resentments eat away at your connection. Learn the tools for lasting intimacy.
You have lost the feeling of attraction to your partner
You might feel excited sexually once in a while but you are generally feeling less attracted to your partner. While this may seem like it is largely physical and unchangeable, we have found that attraction can return if you start to experience good seduction.
You are not getting your Hottest Sexual Movie
Often a couple will get together and they will have hot sex in the beginning because there is the newness factor and uncertainty which both bring a lot of passion. Over time, however, the hotness starts to wane and you can’t figure out why. One big reason can be that you have different ways that you like to have sex but have never really talked about what is most arousing for each of you and how you can bridge your hottest sexual movies. You may simply expect your partner to know how to arouse and seduce you when they don’t so you aren’t getting the kind of sex you want. This can lead to low desire. Getting your Hottest Sexual Movie often solves the low desire problem.
San Jose, CA
You are overly busy and stressed out
You are so stressed and busy that you forgot (or never really knew) what a resources sex can be to rejuvenate you and enhance your life. You may have been taught that sex is unimportant or trivial and so you prioritize everything else or just feel like it’s impossible to switch gears into sex when you are so stressed. Through this work, you will learn how to prioritize pleasure (not only sex) and take better care of yourself. When you engage in it fully and get what you really want out of it, sex can be vital to your ongoing connection with your partner and can balance your hormones and relieve stress on a very deep level.
“I feel like I’m walking on air right now. Like I took a big, cleansing breath and washed away years of blockages around my sexuality. I remember what it is like to feel alive and sensual and I can’t wait to flirt with the world…”
You have body shame
You may have the painful feeling that your body is not beautiful, lovable or sexy and think you are supposed to wait until you have an “ideal body” before you allow yourself to go after what you want. This can lead to low libido because you feel that you don’t deserve pleasure or care if you don’t look a certain way. We are here to tell you that the way you look does not have to hold you back. Sexual chemistry and satisfaction is not about the way you look. It is about the way you feel and the attitude you project out in the world based on this feeling and reclaiming your body can bring back your sexual desire.
You have pain during sex
There are many things that can lead to pain during sex including vaginismus, chronic yeast infections, fibroids, endometriosis and more. Pain during sex understandably leads to low desire, but these problems do not have to rob you or your partner of an amazing and fulfilling sex life. We have helped so many people deal with the negative fallout that comes from painful sex so that you can still experience all of the connection and vitality that comes from sex.
You have a history of sexual abuse or trauma
A history of sexual abuse or trauma can lower your sex drive, as you may consciously or unconsciously avoid sex so as not to trigger painful memories or flashbacks. You may also have learned to dissociate during sex making sex less pleasurable because you aren’t really there to feel it. Even if you have done a lot of work on your trauma, you might not have done work around reclaiming your body and finding out what is hot in sex for you. Trauma can make us not want certain kinds of sex and can also shape some of our desires which may lead to feelings of shame and discomfort. We can help you work through these feelings so that you can have a sex life that is full of shame-free and trauma-free fulfillment.
In Somatica sex therapy and relationship coaching sessions you will:
- Explore and resolve tension and resentment with your partner
- Find or reconnect with your desire and learn how to be turned on
- Discover your Hottest Sexual Movie and teach your partner how to give it to you
- Move beyond body shame and embrace your sexy self
- Create pain-free and trauma-free sex life
- Increase of the Use of Sex Surrogates in Women
We have found that a very small subset of our clients need sex surrogates, but that most of our client are able to benefit greatly from the level of practical, experiential sex coaching we provide.
- Women: Why Sex Is The Last Thing On Your Mind?
Unfortunately sex is a language that we, as a culture, don’t have a huge vocabulary for. Sometimes you need help.
- Women’s Libido – Social Messages and the Mother/Whore Dichotomy
I an earlier blog entry we talked about the importance of hormones, rest and the just-right-seduction in your libido. Here we will talk about the social messages and how they shape and play a role in your sexuality, desire, libido and turn on.
- F#ck You, Low Libido – Part 2
We’re giving you an intimate glimpse into one woman’s quest to increase her libido, featuring excerpts from emails she wrote to close female friends as she worked with Celeste and Danielle in their Sex Therapy and Relationship Coaching practice.
In this second of five posts, we’ll look at what really
- In Search of My Movie
- Women’s Libido – Hormones, Rest and Seduction
Women – your libido is tied to shifts in hormones and energy throughout your day, throughout your monthly cycle and throughout your lifetime. In contrast to men, who generally experience a build-up of sexual energy when they have not had sex for a while, and a lowering when they
- Jessica Rabbit and Body Image
As women, we are being told that until we look a particular way, we can’t be proud of our bodies, enjoy them, dress up in any way that we want or enjoy and be playful with our sexuality. One of our role models is Jessica Rabbit – while she
- Enhancing Your Sexual Experiences through Your Five Senses
watching leaves ripple on a tree on a windy day can be extremely arousing and sexy, especially when you allow all of your senses to feed into and connect with your sexual desire.