Breathing happens whether we are conscious of it or not. But when we bring our awareness to our breath, we bring awareness to the present moment. We invite our full selves and become more embodied. In this way, breathwork is a powerful tool to increase our vitality, our aliveness – and our pleasure.
Often during sex we are so focused on achieving an outcome, we lose connection with a key resource – our breathing patterns. Instead of straining towards a goal, we can use different kinds of breathwork – tantric breathing, ecstatic breathing, orgasmic breathing – to increase our capacity for pleasure. Freeing and deepening the breath through breathwork bringing consciousness to the breath. Using particular breath patterns to achieve certain effects allows for more sensation and pleasure to flow more expansively throughout our bodies.
Even more, practicing breathwork with a partner can lead to increased connection and intimacy as your nervous systems co-regulate and attune to one another.
There are many ways to bring breathwork into your self-pleasure practice or partnered sexual play. The most basic is to simply invite your breath to move in and out through the mouth and to deepen and slow down as you begin to play or self-pleasure. Let the breath be deep, slow, and even – at least to start.
You can play with the speed of breathing, but do your best to keep it deep. Make your exhales audible, letting out a sigh or an “aaaahhh,” or any other sound that wants to be expressed. Breathing through the mouth stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which can increase your arousal.
Mouth breathing can sometimes lead to anxiety. If you notice it increasing your anxiety, try breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. You can also try breathing in and out solely through the nose if that feels the most calming and arousing.
The most important thing is to keep the breath really full and bring your attention to the sensations flowing throughout your body as you breathe.
Neo-Tantra – a loose category of practices and techniques of embodiment, meditation, and sexuality – is one realm that incorporates breathwork into pleasure practices. Breath is central to Tantra as it helps the practitioner stay present and alert, and can support the practitioner in entering different states of consciousness. This is the goal of Tantra and Tantric sex.
Tantric breathing can consist of quick and rhythmic breathwork through the nose, or explosive exhales through the mouth. Tantric breathing also includes chakra breathing, in which you breathe into each chakra, or cycle the energy between 2 or more chakras as you inhale and exhale.
Here are a few Tantric breathing techniques you can practice alone or with a partner:
Raises energy and increases awareness.
Releases tension and relaxes the body.
This can be done alone or while sitting across from your partner and synchronizing your breath.
Clears the mind and allows you to connect to your center and your body.
While having partnered sex, synchronizing your breath can help you connect more deeply to your partner and allow your bodies to attune to one another.
Tantric breathing with a partner can be done in many different ways. Try breathing in and out at the same time while looking into one another’s eyes. This can be a great exercise to do at the beginning of love-making or on its own, as a way to connect with your partner and yourself. Keep the body relaxed, the gaze soft, and breathe in and out through the mouth (or in through the nose and out through the mouth).
Another technique that can be used during love making is Tantric sex breathing – also called circular breathing. In this technique, one partner exhales as the other inhales, and vice versa, creating a circuit of energy between your two bodies.
Ecstatic Breathwork, otherwise known as Holotropic Breathwork, is a powerful way to clear energy blockages in the body. It can also lead to a transpersonal experience of healing and activation.
It is recommended that you practice with a certified practitioner, as ecstatic breathing can sometimes bring up traumatic memories held by the body.
It is possible to experience a full body orgasm using only orgasmic breathing and no or minimal stimulation through touch. This technique brings attention and awareness to each of the energy centers or chakras of the body.
Focus your attention on the chakra you are breathing into and the breath will follow. When doing orgasmic breathwork you may find it helpful to place your hands on the chakra into which you are breathing.
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