Meet Celeste Hirschman

My personal journey

I came from a hippie family bursting with love. This is me in my mom’s belly.

Once I emerged, it was all cuddles all the time. You can see me passing all the love I got on to my little sister in this picture.

I was home schooled, and my parents liked to sleep in, so school didn’t start at my house until then. Before that, it was a puppy pile in my parents’ bed full of laughter and fun.

My dad loved old movies and plays, so we’d play dress-up, sing along to musicals, and basically show off for all the positive attention we craved. Here’s me at about nine years old as Sandy from Grease and my sister wearing one of the tutus we used in our performances.

Looking back, it makes sense that I dreamed about being on stage and screen. Performing, storytelling, and expressing emotion in big ways felt natural to me from a young age.

That love of performance eventually found a surprising path back into my life when I became a lead sexologist and co-executive producer on Virgin Island, the Channel 4 series in the UK where I bring Somatica’s transformational tools to a new generation. The show won several awards – and captured the hearts and minds of a new generation of young people trying to find their way in the world of relationships. Getting to help people explore connection, confidence, and desire on screen felt like a full-circle moment for that little girl who loved to perform.

While my family was full of unconditional love and celebration, there were also some very difficult challenges. Between ages four and eleven, my parents divorced, got back together, had another child, and separated again. The first time, my middle sister and I lived with my mom. The second time, all three of us — which now included my youngest sister — lived with my dad.

My lesson in all of this: no matter how much someone loves you, they will leave.

This is me at 17. I think it’s the oldest I’ve ever looked or felt.

This painful and confusing message got lodged deep in my nervous system. Love became deeply intertwined with fear. My reaction was to self-medicate, shut down emotionally, and enter into relationship after relationship — always leaving before anyone could leave me.

In stark contrast to the pain of love, sexuality for me was full of pleasure and power. Even though society was (and still is) full of slut-shaming, thanks in part to Madonna and the shifting culture of the time, being an overtly sexual woman was the only option for someone as interested in sex as me. I embraced and externalized my sexuality and enjoyed the attention and the sense of safety it gave me.

In college, I began unpacking the mixed messages I had received as a woman about love, sex, and power while being immersed in Women’s Studies. I started working at the Condom Co-op and teaching my peers about safer sex. I also came out as bisexual and was welcomed by the queer community at UC Santa Cruz. Even though I was studying and living my feminist and queer identities, it took many years for me to truly unlearn the internalized sexism that had quietly convinced me men were more capable or intelligent than I was.

It also took many years of therapy, personal work, coaching my own clients, and training students to really understand and transform my abandonment trauma.

One truth supported my resilience and identity throughout: I was full of life and desire and nothing could take my erotic power away from me. This awareness inspired me to get my Master’s degree in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University, as well as a certification from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality where I met my amazing business partner and Somatica co-founder, Danielle.

My personal mission in studying sexuality was to spread some of the gifts I received from my own sex life. For me, sex is grounding. It balances my hormones, reconnects me to my body, and deepens my sense of joy and aliveness in the world. Our shared vision of lowering shame and fully embracing ourselves in all of our humanness has kept Danielle and myself committed to growing and expanding Somatica around the world.

Another part of life that continues to sustain and strengthen me is my love of dance. Especially dancing and connecting with my sisters in our belly dance troupe, The Three Sisters Bellydancers. We have a saying between us: “A family that sways together, stays together.”

Our sisterhood, support, love, and ability to laugh heartily together about the insanity of our family life is part of the embodied playfulness and love I bring to the people I adore — including partners, clients, parents, and the children who I have step-parented and been an aunty to.

But, in those early years and well into my 30s, I still struggled consistently with my anxious attachment and how much it negatively impacted my relationships. Part of developing Somatica was learning deeply about attachment styles and trauma.

It was through building and teaching the Somatica Method that I was finally able to fully recognize my abandonment fears as trauma. When I was finally able to acknowledge that I had attachment trauma, I felt something really start to shift. I could begin to take ownership of those patterns and become empowered around my trauma rather than letting it unconsciously run my relationships.

Over time, through emotional work and attachment repair, my anxiety has lowered significantly. It still shows up sometimes — trauma rarely disappears completely — but it no longer controls my behavior the way it once did.

Now when that wave of fear arises, I recognize it. I pause instead of acting from panic. I take breaks when needed, use the trauma empowerment tools I teach to calm my own nervous system, and reach out to the secure people in my life, including my family and chosen family.

One beautiful gift along the way was getting to experience a deeply secure romantic relationship. I will always cherish that experience because it showed me what was possible.

Throughout this whole journey, my flirtation with the world – and my ability to express myself sexually – have remained a huge part of who I am. Being able to bring that part of myself into my work as a teacher and co-founder of the Somatica Institute continues to feel incredibly meaningful.

In Somatica, we believe strongly in the power of vulnerability. When it serves our students’ and clients’ growth, sharing our struggles helps reduce shame and creates a more realistic and compassionate path toward transformation. The method itself is built on a mutually vulnerable relationship between practitioner and client, in service of growth and healing.

That’s why I share my story.

Every human being carries some wound that shapes their path. Mine has been abandonment. Yours will likely be something different.

My own experiences, along with the thousands of people I’ve worked with as a Somatica coach and teacher, have given me deep empathy for how challenging it can be to face the painful parts of ourselves. Real transformation doesn’t come from judgment or perfection. It comes from curiosity, self-awareness, gentleness, and love.

These days, when that little girl inside me gets scared, I know how to comfort her.

And because I understand how vulnerable, shame-filled, and frightening parts of our inner worlds can be, I could never judge anyone else for their process. We are all navigating the tender places of being human, doing our best to grow, love, and stay open to life.

Personally, I plan to enjoy being alive and to taste every minute of it!