In the 5th episode of their 9-video series on women’s empowerment, Celeste and Danielle give foreplay tips and ideas for women and their partners, and talk about all the fun and pleasure you can have warming up. Because after all – foreplay is an integral part of sex, seduction is key, and taking charge of it yourself is an important element of female erotic empowerment.
(Below is the slightly edited video transcript)
The Secret How to be a Great Lover to Your Partner
Danielle: So, today we’re going to talk to you about all the pleasure you can have.
Celeste: I think when you really get into your erotic empowerment, you want it all. And I think it’s good to want it all. Stop apologizing. Saying, “Oh, I take a long time to warm up,”or, “It seems like I need this, and this, and this, to get off.”
So, I’m going to tell you a secret about what we do. I wanna start by just saying – a lot of times, we trick women. What we say is, “We’re gonna teach you how to be a great lover to your partner.” And then when they come in, we say, “You know what would make you a great lover to your partner?”
Danielle: If you get into your own arousal, and your own sexuality. They’re gonna love it. They won’t get enough of you.
Celeste: Cause what really turns people on is to feel authentic desire coming their way. If you’re trying to give to somebody else, but you’re not even feeling what you want, and you’re not asking for what you want – I think, especially if you’re partner is a man. What he wants is a woman who is just really excited, and turned on, and wanting sex. For herself, on her own terms. As opposed to doing it out of obligation, because your partner wants it. Which is so boring and depressing.
Danielle: It is! I do have clients and friends that tell me, “Oh, I put it on my calendar.” I said, “Okay, that’s not a bad beginning.” But how did we get there? It’s really hard to get from obligation to arousal.
Seduction is Key
Celeste: Yeah, there’s nothing sexy about obligation. What is sexy is really finding out all of the ways you can experience pleasure in your body, and in your psyche. I think for women, a lot of what turns us on the most is the build up. Seduction! Both the seduction in our brain, and the seduction in our body. Because we want all of that – light, tender touch, mixed with grabbing and holding. We also want to hear – and this is hard especially for men – all about how amazing we are. How sexy we are. And how much we’re wanted.
Danielle: And how beautiful we are.
Celeste: That’s something women don’t feel like they can ask for. When somebody says, “What do you want sexually?” We think we need tell them about how to touch our clit properly. Which is a really good think to tell people and very few people know how to do it very well.
I’m always, “Oh, we’re going to give you the lesson on that in a little while. Let’s start with how I need you to look at me. Then what I want you to say to me.”
Danielle: I personally cannot orgasm without my partner telling me something that turns me on verbally. Otherwise, nothing brings me over the edge.
Celeste: So we need that psychological arousal. And we need good touch, and good physiological arousal. We need people not go grabbing our boobs, and rubbing our clit really hard in the first five minutes of sex.
Danielle: For me it would be the first forty-five minutes of sex.
Celeste: We need to really get in touch with how we have our orgasm. Once our body has warmed up, and we’ve been kissed, and bitten, and licked in all the right places. What kind of orgasms can we have? How do we learn about that in our own body?
In the next video, we’ll talk about all the different ways we can get to our orgasm. And bring your vibrator everywhere you go!
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