The Top 3 Mistakes Women Make In Dating and Relationships

From the myth of “Mr. Right” to the breakdown of open communication, many women unknowingly sabotage their chances at a fulfilling connection.

Discover the three most common pitfalls in modern dating and how shifting your mindset can transform your approach to love and intimacy.

Mistake #1: Waiting for Mr. Right

Most women have been taught through fairy tales and romance movies that meeting Mr. Right means everything will just click – he will know exactly what you want and give it to you.

The idea that there is a “Mr. Right” is misleading and causes women to get very surprised when differences arise or their partner disappoints them in some way. The Mr. Right fantasy can also make women overlook all sorts of red flags if they feel a spark with someone.

In long-term relationships, the Mr. Right fantasy can make women very complacent. They are trying to keep everything the same and stable – instead of allowing themselves to grow and change in their needs and desires for fear that they will no longer be compatible with their Mr. Right. They also expect their partner to stay the same and get very angry when he changes.

Finally, they let all of the wrongs pile up without confronting them, become resentful and decide that they simply have not found Mr. Right and it is time to start the search again.

Mistake #2 – From No Communication to Unkind Communication

The idea that Mr. Right will just know what you want without you having to ask, causes women who are dating to wait patiently and hope that he will be the man you want him to be – without you having to say anything.

This generally means that women in long term relationships have been holding their tongue and waiting for a long time. When the frustration of not getting what they want finally boils over, it explodes in blaming, shaming or accusatory ways, making the men in their lives feel useless and hopeless about pleasing them.

The focus moves from bolstering a man’s ego and never telling him when you need something different, to tearing him down and making him feel horrible.

Communicating your needs and boundaries does not need to be harsh. In fact, you can be clear about your boundaries and needs in a clear, loving, and connected way.

When you realize it’s impossible for anyone to read your mind or any one person to meet all of your needs, you can begin learning how to ask for, receive and delight in the gifts your partner actually has to offer.

Mistake #3 – Making Sex for Him Instead of for You

Last, but most definitely not least – women often experience the intensity and passion of the beginnings of sex with their partner. They however quickly lose interest in sex because they are going along with what their partner wants – instead of finding out for themselves what makes them tick sexually.

Women are mostly told by our culture that sex is not for them, and so sex gets put on the back burner.

Women think that men are also willing to put sex on the back burner and live without it. Then women feel hurt and surprised, or are in denial, when their partners turn to porn, paid sex, or affairs.

We believe this response is rooted in the cultural lessons that teach women that sex is extraneous or frivolous, as opposed to a core need.

While there are many women who want more and better sex in their relationships, there are few who are willing to follow through on finding out what THEY truly desire – and then share it with their partners gently and openly.

It’s true that some men don’t want directions – however, many men are dying for women to tell them what they want so they can give it to them.

Does that sound like you?

What Should You Do Next

• Enroll in the How to Get Turned On course (this is the most direct next step for mapping core desired feelings and building a practical erotic vocabulary).
• Read this article on How to Talk About Your Sexual Core Desires With a Partner
• Read the Coming Together sample chapter for credibility and deeper context.
• Book a session with a Certified Somatica Coach for support communicating your core desire feelings, especially after mismatch or repair.