Do you often feel like something is wrong with your body? And because of that, do you walk through the world feeling less confident, lovable, and desirable? You are not alone.
Many women believe if they don’t meet society’s ridiculous standards of attractiveness, they don’t deserve to be loved and have amazing sex. We want you to know that you can overcome any body image issues and love, be loved, and have mind-blowing sex at any shape, size, and age!
Escaping the Shame Spiral
We found there is a pervasive belief that you can conquer your body image issues by changing your shape. This is rarely the case.
If you try to change your body instead of accepting it, you usually end up making the problem worse. Often, there is a harmful shame spiral of endless dieting and gaining weight, plastic surgeries, or “beauty treatments” that drain your bank account. And yet, you never seem to get to the underlying pain.
We are here to tell you that the process of overcoming body image issues is internal. It is about self love and acceptance.
How Social Media Affects Body Image
Sick of the endless scroll for cellulite and wrinkle cream ads, muscles powders and penis pills? These days, social media influencers, photo filters, and a constant barrage of advertisements about changing your body relentlessly chip away at your own sense of desirability and beauty. The effects on your body image and self-esteem are incredibly harmful and cannot be overstated.
In fact, social media is one of the biggest killers of self-esteem in our time. While there have been some attempts to counteract this terrible trend, these small steps have barely been able to stem the tide of low self-esteem caused by body image issues.
Women’s Body Image in Society
In our society, men often experience praise – and thus a lot of self-esteem – from what they are able to do in the world (in the realm of work, providership, etc.). For women however, we are still focused on values like looks rather than mental strengths or other achievements. This means a woman’s negative body image is much more debilitating because she has less to fall back on when needing to feel valued.
The ripple effects of negative body image are far reaching for women. They often feel self-conscious in interactions in every area of their lives – from work, to dating, to sex, and even in their friendships. They worry about what to wear, how they look, and how they’ll be perceived. Frequently, they compare themselves to their friends.
As a result, they may also only spectate during sex. Instead of being able to focus on their own pleasure, they are worried about whether something is jiggling, or having too much cellulite.
Thus, overcoming female body image issues can help you feel more empowered in every area of your life. When you embrace a positive body image, you walk around in the world taller – with more confidence and ease.
How to Accept Your Body
The first step to accepting your body and feeling sexy at any size is to connect with your body as the center of your pleasure potential. Pleasure is a key need in all human beings. Exploring touch, sensuality, hugging, holding, and sexual arousal in your body can help you refocus your relationship to your body.
Some of our female clients have asked us how to feel attractive when overweight, or how to be confident in bed when overweight. We always start by addressing the term “overweight”. We find it focuses on the objectification of women’s bodies, as opposed to the health or potential pleasure they provide. Remember – you can be physically healthy along a very big range of sizes. And most of all – you can experience deep sexual pleasure no matter what size you are.
Overcome Body Image Issues With These 6 Steps
- Find one part of your body you love. Intentionally spread positive feelings towards that body part.
- Engage in experiences that make your body feel warm, tingly, sensuous, and aroused. Examples are swimming, self-touch, dancing, masturbation, deep breathing or receiving a massage. When you are in these experiences, feel all the pleasure your body can give you. When you touch your body, notice the positive sensations in your body and your hands.
- Clear your home of anything that makes you feel bad about your body. This might mean that you get rid of your scale and any food that says “diet” on it. Maybe even cover your mirrors for a while if you find you are hyper focusing on the parts of your body you dislike.
- Find activities that make you feel healthy and strong as opposed to focusing on losing weight or getting thin. If anything you do feels like you are going on some pressure-filled self-improvement program, stop it immediately.
- When you eat, notice the yummy, joyful feelings in your mouth and body.
- Wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable and sexy.
If you would like help loving your body more, check out our coaching page Love Your Body.