“For the first time I have been away on travel in the four and a half years I have known my husband, we talked for about an hour and he said, this is the FIRST time I have talked with you on the phone and I did not feel like ending the call! This has always been an issue for us, I feel I am talking and he does not want to connect, but I realized I talk about the to do list (what he is or is not getting done back home), he feels criticized, wants to get off the phone, I feel rejected, you get the picture! I realized I was using the to do list as a strategy to connect, not very seductive!”