In case you are not familiar with the acronym AFGO, it stands for Another F****** Growth Opportunity and New Year’s resolutions are just that. Instead of making an epic list of daily life alterations that will likely overwhelm you until you rebel against all of the them around January 15th, we have an idea for how you can make a resolution that can enhance your sex life and strengthen your relationship potential.
Instead of taking stock on a basic level, how about doing some self-searching this year to see the ways in which you would like to focus on your own erotic growth and emotional responsiveness. Heightening your emotional responsiveness, as opposed to allowing emotional reactivity to take over, is a life change that will reverberate into all elements of your life. As we discuss in our recent book, Making Love Real, we have worked with countless clients who have resolved to push their sexual pleasure beyond what they believed was possible.
It is not as complicated as it may seem to make these life-altering changes. In fact, this resolution also involves simply making lists. First, we suggest to start by finding the edges of your sexual comfort and jotting them down. This way you can take stock of where you would like to explore and expand. Simply doing this part of the exercise can offer a means of self-acceptance that leads to growth.
Next, make a list of the things that can be challenging about being in a relationship with you and see which one you are most interested in facing this year. Facing these challenges could mean finding deeper acceptance for yourself as you are, might mean learning new tools to replace old habitual responses and it might just be coming to it with your partner so that they know what they’re up against.
These lists may seem epic. The more honest you are the longer they may be. That is actually a good thing. But this year you will simply choose one from each list to tackle. We find that so many of our issues are interrelated, and that by truly paying attention to these two issues you select will allow you to experience erotic growth and increased emotional responsiveness in other areas as well. We know you can do it! Can’t wait to hear about your amazing 2016!