Check On Your Partner’s Counter-Emotions:
In many instances where emotions are present in a relationship, each partner has emotions that need to be shared and understood. Don’t assume just because you are making the initial complaint that your partner is only supposed to listen to you. Make space after you feel heard to listen to their feelings. When you make space, you might hear something like, “I feel like ever since I went on that date behind your back a year ago, I have felt mistrusted, like every move I make is monitored. Sometimes I feel a little hopeless, like there will never be anything I can do to win back your trust.” Then it is your turn to put yourself in their shoes. Any good relationship makes space for BOTH partner’s emotions and true repair only comes when each of you feels heard and understood. We help couples with these processes all the time!