
Reassurance:
Reassure when Necessary. Once you have listened and deeply understood the other person, you may feel close, comfortable and connected again and there may be nothing left to do. If it still feels like something is stuck, it may be time for some reassurance. You don’t want to ever jump to this step, however. If you reassure before you fully understand what the feelings are, and where they came from inside your partner, then your reassurances will not hit the target, they will miss receiving what they need and you will still feel disconnected. An example of a reassurance might be, “I can see now how scary it might have been for you when you came home and I wasn’t here, I’m sorry I dismissed your feelings at first and I want you to know, I never want you to feel alone and I always care about how you feel.”