Relationship Repair – Step #5
Empathy Part 2 — Put Yourself In Your Sweetie’s Shoes:
A big part of empathy is taking a moment to imagine what it would be like to come home with one expectation and find a different situation, entirely. Even if you have a good excuse or didn’t mean to hurt the other person, they are still allowed to have the feeling and, even if you wouldn’t feel the same exact way in their situation, you might still be able to imagine how they might feel that way. Let yourself be open to hearing their feelings and empathizing with them. This step is *extremely* important and can be used for the smallest to biggest issues – everything from not taking out the garbage to processing an affair. The only difference is that, in an affair, there may be numerous feelings that each person in the partnership has to share and empathize with before any kind of repair can happen. Don’t just say, “I understand” say WHAT you understand, “I understand that when you came home and I wasn’t here, you had a flashback to the time I went behind your back and went out on a date with someone else. I can imagine how scared and alone that must have made you feel.”