Relationship Repair – Step #3
Stop Making Yourself The Bad Guy/Gal (and/or trying to defend your reputation). Usually when we hear our partner is distressed about something we did, we feel bad about ourselves and disconnect or immediately try to solve the problem or at least defend our reputation. It is very difficult to hold the idea that our partner is upset and we are still a good person at the same time, especially if we don’t feel particularly good about how we handled a situation. Sadly, when we start to make ourselves the bad guy or defend ourselves or fix the problem, we make the whole thing about us instead of just allowing our partner to have whatever feeling they are having.