Why are women often so horny before their period?
Often referred to as “premenstrual horniness,” the phenomenon of libido fluctuations and sexual arousability around the menstrual cycle has long captivated researchers. Hormonal shifts, primarily involving estrogen and progesterone, play a crucial role in these changes, impacting neurotransmitters and arousal pathways. Additionally, heightened sensitivity, increased blood flow, and psychological factors contribute to this phenomenon.
Despite societal taboos surrounding discussions of female sexuality, being aware of the biological basis behind being horny before your menstruation is essential for promoting informed understanding. Know that it’s a completely normal feeling.
Delving into this subject are renowned sex coaches Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel who in the video below talk about how to acknowledge the tiger in the cage who wants sex, stay immersed in the desire, and prioritize it. They teach you how to act on the cues your body gives you, connect with your arousal, and go after what you want.
(Below is the slightly edited video transcript)
Acknowledging the Horny Tiger in The Cage
Celeste: I know at the beginning of my month, at the moment I start bleeding, I feel like a tiger in a cage. If I don’t get sex, I’m just clawing, and things are going to go poorly for everyone around me.
Danielle: For me, actually, this horniness, is a sign I’m going to get my period tomorrow. The night before, I get so horny, I literally feel like the tiger in a cage. I’m climbing walls, that’s how much I wanna have sex.
Celeste: I don’t think that women talk to each other about horniness. It’s like we think that that’s men’s purview. Men are the ones who say “I can’t wait to have sex” – but I think we feel that way often. A lot of women don’t even acknowledge that that’s what the feeling is. And maybe they just get frustrated, or eat, or do something else. They just kind of sublimate that desire, instead of asking, “Where am I gonna get my sex from?”
I love my vibrator, but I wanna have sex. I need something inside of me.
Danielle: The truth is that at that time of the month, we have different needs for different kinds of stimulation. Such as deeper stimulation – as opposed to clitoral stimulation.
How To Claim Your Sexual Energy and Desire
Celeste: But what do we do with this tiger energy? That’s the part that I really think is a big step in women’s sexual empowerment. To claim that desirous energy for themselves.
Danielle: It’s not so much about whether you want to have sex all the time. It’s really about honoring the times that you do wanna have sex, and permitting yourself to feel it – and claim it.
Celeste: I want to talk about being a woman who wants to have sex all the time. I have felt a little alienated from other women – even misunderstood and weird. I used to hide it, but now I just tell everyone all the time. It’s all I wanna talk about – sex. And my best friends are the ones who wanna hear about it.
It’s a very deep, exciting part of who I am in my life. And I do feel like that is not something that’s celebrated. It’s thought of as trivial or sort of “extra”. Like you have to do all of the other things first – and then you go after sex.
Danielle: Like it’s the last thing on the list.
Celeste: For me, if I wait and put sex as the last thing on my list, I’m a miserable human being.
Let Yourself Say You Are Horny and Want Sex
Celeste: I feel there would be far fewer anti-depressants in the world, less frustration and anger in relationships if women just started saying “Maybe this feeling inside of me, this intensity, means that I want to have sex.”
Danielle: You can try the sentence: “I want to have sex.”
Celeste: I don’t think women say that very often. Or at all.
Women are supposed to be nice. Didn’t they say well-behaved women rarely make history? Our sex life is a place where we have been taught to behave. I think that dampens down our erotic power in every area of our lives.
Danielle: So we want to invite you to notice those differences in your arousal. Sometimes you might feel openness throughout your body, or a spreading sensation. And sometimes you’re gonna feel very focused, like a hunter who says: “I wanna have sex now.”
Just start to recognize those differences and let yourself have it. Let yourself say what you want.
Celeste: Women have the potential for endless pleasure, and it is the best-kept secret.
So if you’re horny before your period – let yourself feel it, and go after what you’re craving.
