Celeste & Danielle Offer Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Passionate, Connected and Fulfilling Life

In case you are not familiar with the acronym AFGO, it stands for Another F****** Growth Opportunity and New Year’s resolutions are just that. Instead of making an epic list of daily life alterations that will likely overwhelm you until you rebel against all of the them around January 15th, we have an idea for how you can make a resolution that can enhance your sex life and strengthen your relationship potential.

Instead of taking stock on a basic level, how about doing some self-searching this year to see the ways in which you would like to focus on your own erotic growth and emotional responsiveness. Heightening your emotional responsiveness, as opposed to allowing emotional reactivity to take over, is a life change that will reverberate into all elements of your life. As we discuss in our recent book, Making Love Real, we have worked with countless clients who have resolved to push their sexual pleasure beyond what they believed was possible.

It is not as complicated as it may seem to make these life-altering changes. In fact, this resolution also involves simply making lists. First, we suggest to start by finding the edges of your sexual comfort and jotting them down. This way you can take stock of where you would like to explore and expand. Simply doing this part of the exercise can offer a means of self-acceptance that leads to growth.

Next, make a list of the things that can be challenging about being in a relationship with you and see which one you are most interested in facing this year. Facing these challenges could mean finding deeper acceptance for yourself as you are, might mean learning new tools to replace old habitual responses and it might just be coming to it with your partner so that they know what they’re up against.

These lists may seem epic. The more honest you are the longer they may be. That is actually a good thing. But this year you will simply choose one from each list to tackle. We find that so many of our issues are interrelated, and that by truly paying attention to these two issues you select will allow you to experience erotic growth and increased emotional responsiveness in other areas as well. We know you can do it! Can’t wait to hear about your amazing 2016!

Jennifer LawrenceBetween cell phone cameras, dash cams, nanny cams, internet hackers, and all that Facebook and Google mine from our accounts and emails every day, it is no surprise that celebrity photos of Jennifer Lawrence recently surfaced on the web. While we, as a culture, may feel that we have a right to privacy, the facts of modern life mean that we don’t much have a reality of privacy anymore.

This is a mixed bag – on the one hand it means that police brutality and campus rapes have been caught on camera making it possible to prosecute people who probably would otherwise have gotten away with their crimes. It also means that when you take nude photos and store them on your computer or online, or send an intern a dick pic or send your boyfriend that hot beaver shot, it is safe to assume the intended audience might not be the only audience.

We believe the end of privacy has potential to change our society drastically, especially around sex and relationships, which will continue to be more and more under the purview of the public eye. Will this make us more open and less prudish as a culture? Possibly. Will it continue to spark debate and raise consciousness about rape and objectification? Hopefully. And as for Jennifer’s and her nude photos, she appears to be a deeply sexually empowered woman. While we should all be outraged that they were published without her consent, we hope she will not be ashamed of them. We think they are gorgeous.

Thanks to our amazing colleagues over at Better Sex Ed for this wonderful review of Cockfidence! Keep up the great work ladies!!!

Cockfidence  by Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel, is probably one of the best books for guys that want to genuinely improve their confidence (in and out of the bedroom) and the way they interact with women. It is a practical book that goes far beyond just giving sex tips; it shows men how they can be true to themselves and be amazing lovers at the same time.” Read more .

When people look to the experts for sex advice, they often imagine they are going to get a list of “hot tips” or techniques to “drive their partner wild”. After many years of working in the realm of sexual arousal, we have found that what really turns people has more to do with the energy of connection than any one particular technique and, even more importantly, that techniques offered without this energetic connection generally fall flat.

It turns out that you being deeply connected to your own desire and arousal, to the erotic energy in your body, and then looking at or touching someone from that place, is the most powerful gift you can give your lover, partner, husband or wife. We want to invite you to play with the intensity of the moment of contact with your sweetheart. It is a moment we so often rush right past, missing our chance at the potential for a deeper connection.

Try this: sit or lie next to your partner and breathe deeply into your body until you can begin to feel your own sense of desire and longing. If you don’t know how to get in touch with this, you may want to download one of our breathwork sessions for men or women and practice.

Once you feel connected to this feeling inside your own body, turn to your partner and look at them from this place, letting the desire for them move out through your eyes. And then, one at a time, very slowly place a hand on your partners body and don’t move it at all, but give enough pressure to your partner’s body that you feel there with them. Take this Magic Moment of Connection as an opportunity to feel the linking up of your own and your partners erotic energy (or whatever kind of energy you sense in their body and yours at the moment). It might feel a little bit buzzy and faster than yours, it might feel deep and slower than yours.

Before you start moving your hand at all, allow your two energies to link up. As you begin to touch or kiss each other, stay tuned to this energetic connection between your bodies and let it guide your hands, your lips and your body. Throughout your erotic experience, continue to attend to this connection. If it feels challenging at first, just continue to play with it without judgment and let your partner know when you are really feeling it from them. If you want help practicing, we are always here!

If you think of boundaries as essential to love and intimacy, then offering a boundary is actually a gift. Unfortunately, usually when people share their boundaries, they feel like they are being selfish or will hurt their partner so they aren’t clear or they have waited and begun to build resentment and then theboundaries come out as harsh. Imagine the next time a boundary is about to be crossed, that sharing thatboundary is a huge gift to yourself, your partner and the relationship and offer it joyfully. For example, you might say, “I feel much closer to you when I only have sex with you when I feel like it. Tonight, I’m not feeling like it because I need to be well-rested in the morning” or “I really love talking with you, but I have had a rough day and I really don’t have the bandwidth to listen right now.” While you might experience some amount of distance or hurt from your partner, it is better to allow them to experience this disappointment than to end up shut down and distant. No one can be everything to their partner and relationships must have space for disappointment if they are going to thrive. Stay tuned for our upcoming blog on Surviving Disappointment…