Every child is born with a direct connection to their pleasure. Their experiences of their body are not kept at a safe distance and intellectualized, their actions, such as sleeping, eating, crying, and touching are in direct connection to their bodily desires. They fully experience their sensual selves as they commune with their outer world. Slowly, over time, and through feedback from parents, friends, and the larger society, children learn that there are certain socially acceptable ways that they must behave in order to get their physical and emotional needs met. Throughout this learning process they come to understand that some of the physical and emotional needs are approved of and some are frowned upon, and that there are certain times that they can get those needs met and other times that they cannot. Throughout the life-cycle people are told that sensual pleasure and satisfaction are unnecessary, excessive, and even dangerous. They learn to defer certain desires and, sometimes, to completely ignore or deny others. This process of distancing from, controlling, denying, and intellectualizing our desires, is a process of losing our erotic embodiment. This loss can be exacerbated by sexual and physical abuse, which often causes children and adults to distance themselves even further from their bodies and to mistrust themselves and other.
The problem with losing our erotic embodiment, our connection with our desire, pleasure, and sensuality, is that these erotic feelings have the potential to be highly motivating in our lives and they are also the basis for others attraction to us. When we are erotically embodied, we exude a sexual magnetism others are pulled by from their deepest, most instinctual places. Aside from the fact that many of us spend vast amounts of time and energy looking for relationships and sexual partners to share our eroticism with, eroticism can also unleash our creativity, fill us with energy, increase our sense of love and respect for the planet we live on and deepen our relationship with the people and creatures who share the planet with us.
Erotic embodiment is the ability that every body has inside of it at birth to experience sensual pleasure, and a deep sense of desire, arousal, satisfaction, and joy. If the process of being socialized is often marked by a loss of our erotic embodiment, how can we regain this embodiment and reintegrate our eroticism into our daily lives and interactions so that we can experience all of the personal, interpersonal, social, and sensual benefits that come with it? In our upcoming blogs we will expand on the philosophy of erotic embodiment and the daily practices and practical tips to help us become radiant, magnetic, fulfilled beings who attract magnificent friends and incredible lovers.