Celeste & Danielle Offer Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Passionate, Connected and Fulfilling Life

This week, we are delighted to feature a blog from Elena, a Somatica Graduate and full-time Practitioner.

In Search of My Movie…

In Somatica we talk about HSM, or Hottest Sexual Movie. It’s the words, energy, touch, and experiences that make you feel exactly what you long to feel when you have sex. As I’ve begun to explore my own HSM, it’s been tricky to figure it out, and to accept myself and my turn ons as they are.

Over the past few years I have been an archaeologist of my own soul, my sexual, erotic, vital self. When I first took the Somatica training I was completely disconnected from my sexuality. I was so stuck and had no idea where to even begin getting unstuck. Thankfully, I was in the right place! With the experiential tools and skills, and emotional support I received in the training I was able to begin my ongoing journey of self-discovery. With more consciousness has come more choice, intention, awareness and fulfillment.

Exploring my hottest movie has been one part of this journey – digging into my fantasies and experiences to identify what turns me on: What do I fantasize about? What kind of porn do I like to watch? What sexual encounters and relationships have been the most arousing? Why? What did I feel in those moments? What am I wanting to feel?

In my first year of the Somatica training, I was in a group with two men, both of whom seemed to me to be way more in touch with their HSM than I was (I’m a pro at negative comparison!) I shared with them a scene from a movie, and a story written by Anaïs Nin. The movie was Risky Business and the scene is Love on a Real Train. I haven’t found the story again and I don’t know if I even remember it right but what remains in my imagination is a woman in a skirt being taken from behind in a populated, public space by a stranger.

What about these two “scenes” get me and why? As we explored and one of my co-students reframed my fantasy I was able to get more detail about what turned me on in the stories and what didn’t. For example, when he framed the the scene on the train as just me and a gentleman, I immediate corrected him – no, he’s not a gentleman. When my colleague added that no one was around, that was wrong too (even though that is the scene in Risky Business). It wasn’t about people being around and watching, it was about people being around and not knowing. In the Anaïs Nin story, the sex is public and also secret. This led me to memories of my first boyfriend and I having sex in my room at my parents house, in the middle of the day. Everyone was home but they had no idea what was going on in my bedroom. It was hot.

From this first layer excavation my takeaway was that secrecy, risk, and illicit sex are veins of rich ore in the mines of my desire. As I follow them more deeply other insights come to light. For instance, I’m not necessarily turned on by illicit as in dishonest – although the tension created by an affair definitely has its appeal. I get even more aroused by engaging in non-traditional sex and relationships. It turns out what arouses me is the risk involved in being vulnerable in my intimate relationships, and the super hot, shared secret of how sex can be, and how relationships can be, when engaged in authentically, erotically, naughtily, and openly.

My Hottest Sexual Movie is a work in progress. It is exhilarating to continue refining, learning, and practicing my movie! Exploring it in a group setting, being supported by community and supporting others is amazing. This year I have the opportunity to lead a group in the training and I am looking forward to helping others explore, find their HSM, embrace it and feel empowered to share with their partners freely and without shame.

In this important and timely NYT article, Amy Sohn looks at how some forms of couple’s therapy may not get to the root of sexual issues. A whole new generation of therapists are approaching sex differently and The Somatica Method is at the cutting edge of approaches that teach couples connection and intimacy, but go beyond that to help couples make sex hot and exciting again (or for the first time). In our practice we see so many couples who have a wonderful connection but sex has gone by the wayside.

In our upcoming book, Making Love Real, we cover how sex can be a big part of the glue that holds relationships together, but that sex and what makes sex hot is largely misunderstood. We help each person in a couple share their unique sexual psyches, their deepest and most vulnerable longings, so that sex can touch into what it truly arousing and fulfilling. We are so excited to be a part of this important direction in couple’s coaching and sex therapy.

We just finished teaching the 2013 Somatica Professional Training of Sex Therapy and Relationship Coaching. Our students reported that it was a powerful, life changing experience. We had such a wonderful time teaching and watching our students grow and transform in front of our eyes. We are very excited to spread the Somatica Method all over the US and around the world, and are looking forward to seeing the new Somatica practitioners bring their unique talents to helping people create mind-blowing sex and fulfilling relationships.

Here is some of the feedback that we got:

“This has been one of the best educational experiences of my life.”

“This class was life-changing. It touched on all the areas in my life that needed work and I feel like I had the tools and guidance I needed to make the necessary improvements so I can offer these tools to others. Celeste & Danielle are the real deal. They know their stuff and offer it in a way that anyone can learn the tools and strategies for not just a healthy sex life, but for a healthier LIFE.”

“Just amazing! I never felt a teacher being so open, vulnerable, funny, easy and absolutely brilliant.”

“The Somatica Training was invaluable in providing me with a framework to work with clients on sex, intimacy and relationships. Tantra and Sexological Bodywork provided me with embodiment skills and understanding the importance of breath, sound and movement. Somatica provides the missing element, which is central to human sexuality, of emotional connection in an embodied state. Somatica is the glue that holds all of my training and education in sexuality together!”

“I honestly can’t imagine any other training that could move and inspire so much compassion and self-love. There’s nothing in my life that compares to Somatica.”

“Coming from the MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) world I felt lots of arenas around sexuality did not ever get discussed. After taking this class I have learned not only about how to help my clients, I also learned so much about myself in relationships. It is incredible that we can go through life so disconnected and not even know. For anyone looking to better understand themselves in relationship or by themselves, I highly recommend this course. It will challenge you in the most profound way.”

“Really amazing and life-changing. So different from anything I’ve done. Celeste & Danielle have a way of articulating things that’s at once profound and straightforward. Everything is so applicable to what’s going on with me in my life.”

Are you a professional in the therapy, coaching, sexuality or sexological bodywork field, or someone who wants to share their sex-positive attitude through a career helping clients have the healthiest, happiest sex lives possible? Expand your professional skill set, grow your erotic repertoire, and spread the love with The Somatica Method. Apply for a seat in our 2014 Somatica Method Professional Training today!