Celeste & Danielle Offer Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Passionate, Connected and Fulfilling Life

This week we continue a blog-per-week from each chapter in our upcoming book, in which we write about the 9 qualities that will allow men to reclaim their sense of power, understand and express their sexual desires, drive women wild sexually, and maintain their personal sense of freedom.  Generosity is the fourth quality and the fourth chapter:

—– Chapter 4 – Generosity —–

A common example of a potentially generous offering is the backrub. There are two very different ways to give a woman a backrub. The first approach is to offer a backrub as a way to get to sex. You half-heartedly kneed and rub her shoulders trying to figure out how quickly you can begin touching her butt, kissing her neck and getting between her legs.

The second approach is to give a woman a backrub because you feel generous and enjoy seeing her feel relaxed. You take your time, you notice what parts of her body respond and relax under your touch. You enjoy each stroke you are offering. If it leads to sex – great. If not – great! If it is a truly generous backrub, you will actually feel her pleasure in your own body. Both the giver and receiver can feel the same physical pleasure from the same backrub.

There are 6 steps to becoming a truly generous person:
1)    Give what you enjoy giving
2)    Know your boundaries
3)    Face conflicts
4)    Learn to say and hear “no”
5)    Pass your woman’s test
6)    Build communication and trust

We continue our weekly sneak peek of each chapter of our upcoming book with the third chapter. Confidence is the third of nine qualities for men to possess in order to reclaim your sense of power, understand and express your sexual desires, drive women wild sexually and maintain your personal sense of freedom.

— Chapter 3 – Confidence —

If we take a broad-brush approach to the idea of sexual mastery, we can say that blocks to mastery are, in almost every case, perpetuated and exacerbated by anxiety about performance. It is not surprising that a lot of men experience performance anxiety since boys are socialized around having to prove they are always capable and competent. When men doubt their competence they begin to loose confidence in themselves, which leads to performance anxiety.

We do not refer to sexual issues as sexual dysfunctions. This is because many instances of what doctors and sex therapists refer to as sexual dysfunction in this culture are actually functional response to dysfunctional situations or beliefs. In other words, quick ejaculation, inability to get an erection or an inability to orgasm may be your body giving you an important message. It may be saying, “this situation is too anxiety producing for me and I am not comfortable.” Or, it may be saying “When she is critical of me all the time, I don’t really want to go inside there” or “I don’t know how to trust a woman enough to fully let go with her” or, “I’m going to get in and out really quickly because she probably doesn’t like this.”

To regain the confidence of sexual mastery, we focus on the body and of experiencing sensation, not tuning away from it. There are some simple steps to do so, and it begins with slowing down…

This week we continue a blog-per-week from each chapter in our upcoming book – and today we offer you a sneak peek at Chapter 2. In this book we help men learn the 9 qualities that you must possess in order to reclaim your sense of power, understand and express your sexual desires, drive women wild sexually and maintain your personal sense of freedom.  Acceptance is the second quality and the second chapter:

—– Chapter 2 – Acceptance —–

In their purest form anger and sadness are positive emotions with essential information about how you want to live your life. People think of sadness and anger as negative emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable, but it is this discomfort that is emotion’s greatest gift. The discomfort of anger or sadness says “something needs to change.” When men avoid these so-called “negative” emotions, they build up, get stuck and transform into rage, resentment, depression, resignation and hopelessness and no change can occur.
Sometimes, if you have been sitting in these secondary emotions for a while, they begin to feel like home. In fact, they have developed as a way to protect you, a safety zone from which you do not need to try to connect. In order to experience power and intimacy, you must move through these, back to anger or sadness. Delving into these emotions will unleash your confined energy, transforming it into motivation, power, attraction, passion and creativity

This week we offer you a sneak peek at Chapter 1 in our upcoming book for men, in which we help men learn the 9 qualities that you must possess in order to reclaim your sense of power, understand and express your sexual desires, drive women wild sexually and maintain your personal sense of freedom.  Presence is the first quality and the first chapter:

—– Chapter 1 – Presence —–

Picture an animal who is trying to mate and who is standing before the object of his desires. He is not awkwardly planning or worrying about the last time she flew, galloped or ran away. He is fully in his own body, connected unequivocally with his sexual arousal in the present moment. He feels every breath, every twitch, every subtle signal of his potential mate. As he reads these signals, he begins a dance that will eventually bring him to his goal. If he splits his attention away from this desire or loses connection with the recipient of his desires, he will quickly miss the opportunity before him. Staying fully present to his erotic desire and attuned creates his only opportunity for success.

Your power, your confidence and your sexual interactions with women depend on you being in the moment in your erotic body (and eventually reading a woman’s queues and responding to them in the moment with your body, not your head). In contrast, planning ahead or trying to come up with the perfect words is an oblivious, detached place to be. This state of detachment is part of what women mean when they say men are “emotionally unavailable”.  When you are in your head, you are distanced from your own sensation and connection with yourself and from potential moments of erotic energy exchange. When you are in your body, you can feel desire coursing through your body and you will be able to generate and read desire in women.

Knowing what you want or connecting with another person does not come from disembodied heads. Knowing yourself and being fully with someone else comes from a deep connection with your body. If you spend your life in your head planning and worrying about the future or reliving or regretting the past, then you never get to know who you are and what you want and you never really connect with another person sexually or interpersonally. In this section, you will begin the journey into living from your own body and knowing your own desires.

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Starting with an excerpt from our introduction and then adding a sneak peek from a chapter each week, we will “expose” our upcoming book for men on how to have great sex, build powerful connections with women, and maintain lasting freedom while doing so.  Sound impossible or contradictory? It’s not – all three need to exist simultaneously, or it does not work.  How? Well, that’s what our book will show you! Here’s a little bit of our introduction:

As empowered, sexual women, we want to live in a world full of men who can express their power and their passion. We want to live in a world in which we can be received, and where women who may have made themselves small can grow fully again with a partner that can receive them. Because of this, we are willing to break the secret code of women. Very few women out there will tell you that they are excited by your freedom because they are also frightened of it. There is a part of them that always feels insecure and challenged by it. It is exactly this slightly unsettled feeling that causes us to respect, desire and want to fuck you over and over again. Complete certainty that you will do what we expect you to may give us a false sense of security, but it also breeds boredom and contempt. Our excitement is inspired by your tenacious commitment to who you are and what you want.

The relationship between your power and freedom and women’s sexual desire (and her own freedom and power) is complex. There are no books or experts out there who lay it all out in one place. There are pieces about how to be a good technical lover and how to pick up and bed women, and some even touch on long-term relationships with women. Others cover masculine power or uncovering the mystery of women, but no book has brought all of these aspects together in one short, straight-forward and practical manual. Until now.