Celeste & Danielle Offer Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Passionate, Connected and Fulfilling Life

We just answered a message we found on a Men’s Health blog and wanted to share it with you.

Q: My wife and I want to spice things up, but she says she doesn’t have any fantasies she wants to fulfill. Is that possible?

A: We have found that women often freeze up in response to questions about fantasies. In answer to your question about how to spice up your sex life and find out more about women’s fantasies we’d like to offer you an excerpt from our upcoming book – Cockfidence – “Each woman has her own ideal seduction ‘movie’ – an assortment of thoughts about the kind of seduction that she wants to experience with her partner. Many women have daydreams about how they want their relationships with men to look, and what kinds of looks, words, acts, and gestures would fill their hearts and wet their pussies, but they often don’t identify these thoughts as fantasies because they are not overtly sexual. This is especially true for women whose ideal seduction fantasy is Romantic.”

Women’s fantasies of seduction generally fall into one or a combination of 3 categories – Romantic, Passionate, and Dominant – which we cover in depth in the upcoming book. To get a better answer to your question about your partner’s fantasy, try asking a woman what her perfect date would look like from beginning to end – this should give you plenty of hints into her ideal seduction.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book for men. This book holds the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Spontaneity, (or the combination of  creativity and Flexibility) is the eight quality and the eight chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 8 – Spontaneity —

Nothing captures the idea of the passionate seduction more than the passionate kiss, depicted in so many movies by this time it might look cliché to you, but it doesn’t look or feel cliché to woman. It is important to begin with a passionate look, letting all of the animalistic desire come in to yours eyes and hold it before jumping right into a kiss. If you go too quickly to the kiss, you don’t allow any tension and excitement to build. When you wait, you allow yourself and her to build into a frenzy of desire where you can’t rip each other’s clothes off fast enough. Make sure you aren’t spilling your passion all over her; at the beginning, hold it in your eyes, and invite her energy to come to you. When you feel she is locked in, then set your inner animal free.

There are some common pitfalls with passion. You may fear that desiring women in this way is objectifying and that she will feel like you only want her for sex. On the contrary, being desired intensely is one of the most common fantasies women have. At the same time, she also wants to know that you are connected to her. You do this by bringing in eye contact, saying her name passionately, or commenting specifically on the things that drive you crazy about her.

You may also fear that bringing this kind of energy will overwhelm a woman as though women are delicate and easily broken. This could cause you to hold back your passion, especially if you feel that you have too much or that it will not be received. On the contrary, most women’s bodies are strong enough to receive all the passion you have in your body for her and more. She may be surprised by it at first, which is why it takes confidence to stay with the feeling and not allow her embarrassment or surprise to pull you both out of it. Instead, with your passionate look and your focused confidence, you pull her into the hottest experiences you have ever had.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book for men. This book holds the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Curiosity is the seventh quality and the seventh chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 7 – Curiosity —

Often, when a man enters into an experience with a particular woman, he can attempt to avoid any perceived “negative” experiences and skirt around any challenges. This can result in the man being very outcome-driven, self-critical, judgmental or fearful,.  This approach hinders the natural flow of energy between two people, and makes it much more likely that an interaction will end up feeling difficult, stilted and unsatisfactory.

A much more comfortable place from which to approach women – and the world in general – is from a place of curiosity. Curiosity is a way of looking at each new experience from a receptive, open place, without judgment or any sense of what the outcome might be. You just feel an experience in the moment. Taking this approach gives you an opportunity to see what you can learn about yourself and the women in your life.

This state of open curiosity need not only apply when you are connecting with a woman for the first time, but can be an ongoing approach. The beauty of curiosity is that it allows for the natural joys and challenges that happen over time between two people. An ongoing state of curiosity also acknowledges that either you or the woman you are interacting with can and will change over time. So often in relationships a desire to control the unknown leads to stagnation and boredom. An attitude of curiosity joyfully invites the unknown, making room for ongoing growth, excitement and passion between you and your partner.
In this chapter, we offer you information about women that might help you better understand their different psychology and biology. This information is general information that is true about most women. While we offer generalizations, make sure to stay curious about the unique ways that these show up in your partner.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book, in which we write about the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Empathy is the sixth quality and the sixth chapter – here is a brief excerpt:

— Chapter 6 – Empathy —

Your ability to empathize has a huge bearing on your sex life, and particularly on whether you are going to get sex, how often, and how good the sex will be. When you tune into your own emotions by feeling the sensations in your body, you will begin not only to feel when a woman desires you, but specifically what her body wants in sexual and intimate situations. Imagine your body is an antennae for her feelings – you can’t be in her body, but you can listen to her through your own.

Men are often taught to distance from their own emotions in order to appear strong. Distancing from your own emotions, however, decreases your sense of empathy, making it more difficult for you to read a woman’s emotions, including sexual desires and cues. By fully connecting with your own body and your emotions, you can stop intellectualizing emotions and start feeling them; instead of thinking about what your partner is feeling, you actually feel it.

Embodied empathy also sensitizes your radar towards her more difficult emotions such as sadness and anger, allowing you to catch early warnings signs. This helps interrupt the escalation of drama and fights. With a little bit of practice, you can enhance your embodied empathy increasing your likelihood to have more great sex and less drama.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book, in which we write about the 9 qualities that will allow men to reclaim their sense of power, understand and express their sexual desires, drive women wild sexually, and maintain their personal sense of freedom.  Passion is the fifth quality and the fifth chapter – here is a brief excerpt:

— Chapter 5 – Passion —

Men rarely have a chance to develop a true enjoyment of their own desire as an essential part of their masculinity. Early on, you were given messages from parents, friends, television, religious institutions and schools about both men’s and women’s sexuality. As boys, you probably got the message, at least covertly, that men are sexual and that this sexuality is a natural, animalistic drive. At the same time, you may have gotten the message that this drive is overpowering, wrong, and dangerous and that you have to learn how to temper and control it. In other situations, you may have been given the message you should go out and exercise this drive as much as you want to. You should, “sew your wild oats” and “play the field.”

At the same time, both you and the girls around you were told that girls are not really sexual people, and men are often told that their sexual drive will not be received or reciprocated by women. In your own life, the combination of these two messages – that boys have an overpowering, animalistic sexuality and that girls are basically without a sexual drive – most likely led you to feel at least some level of discomfort with your sexuality. At worst, it caused you to lose touch with your own sexual power and confidence in your desires.

Your desire for women, sex, and pleasure are the most natural desires you have – they are built in to your body in order for the species to survive. However, often when men feel desire and they have been told that it is wrong, the desire makes them anxious. As soon as it arises, they feel like they have to DO something about it.

The next time you see a gorgeous woman that you want to have sex with, try standing up straight, taking a deep breath, and feeling your desire flow through your body. Feel how good it feels that you still have this desire in your body; it means that you are alive and inspired, it is really not about her and there is nothing to DO about it…