How to Avoid Cheating
Cheating doesn’t just happen. When people make a commitment to their partner, they usually plan to keep it and if they choose to cheat or have an affair there is a reason behind their choice. To understand why people cheat read our blog.
If you are determined not to cheat you came to the right place. To avoid a situation where one of you is choosing to have an affair instead of being honest about your needs and desires you will ultimately need to create a safe space where each person’s desires can be shared openly. Every couple has some sort of spoken or unspoken relationship contract. Many couples do not do a good job of communicating their contract so they are not aware of each other’s expectations in the relationship. Even if you are aware of the expectations you each have, we find that many couples don’t open their relationship contract and don’t update it. Instead of looking at your marriage or relationship contract as a fixed entity, you will need to accept that your needs and desires will change throughout your lives and that you will need to develop tools to renegotiate if some agreement you have made isn’t working. If you are in a long term relationship and you have never talked about your unspoken contract working with a Somatica Sex Therapist and Relationship Coach is a great opportunity to do so.
In Somatica sex therapy, sex coaching and relationship coaching sessions you and your partner will have a supportive, non-judgmental and caring conversation about each of yours needs and desires. You will explore how each of you feel about these desires and learn how to negotiate when your desires are different. In session, you will talk about your unspoken relationship contract and see what is working for you and what isn’t. Then you will have an opportunity to consciously co-create a relationship contract that is responsive to each of your needs and boundaries. You will explore what your relationship is capable of giving you and talk openly about what to do if there are needs that are not being met in the relationship.
- Something Meaty for the Sandwich
Ok, we know, we are skipping ahead, but we’ll get back to integrity and openness soon! Right now, all we can think about it something meaty to bite into. Hmmmmmm, maybe we’re ovulating! When we say that a love sandwich needs something meaty to bite into we mean this
- A Love Sandwich Cont’d – Celebration
Love requires celebration! Celebration can only happen when you slow down and take time out of your busy schedule to delight in your connection with yourself and your partner. We live in a world that rewards endless striving and encourages personal disastisfaction and judgment of yourself and others. This
- How To Create A Sexy Couples Vacation or Staycation!
Many couples take vacations hoping to spice up their sex life, and they often end up having a week or so of heightened connection or more frequent sex and then return home and go right back to business as usual (which often means sex and intimacy go back to
- Beyond Fifty Shades: How to Star in Your Own Dominant/Submissive Movie
With the phenomenon of Fifty Shades of Grey, Rihanna’s S&M and other popular representations, Dominant/Submissive fantasies are coming out of the darkness and into the mainstream imagination. However, these iterations often gloss over the core needs such fantasies satisfy. After seeing hundreds of clients, we can confirm that many
- A Love Sandwich
Thinking about the ingredients of a love sandwich…acceptance, celebration, integrity, openness and something meaty to bite into. More on that tomorrow…
- Fair or Fulfilling – What kind of relationship do you want?
Relationships aren’t fair. In our practice, we see a lot of hurt come from the idea that people are supposed to have perfect equality in relationship on everything from work to child-rearing, from emotional support to time with friends.
- Good Vibes Truth or Dare Game
As brand ambassador for Good Vibes, I recently had the pleasure of reviewing the Truth or Dare game, a simple yet intriguing card game for couples to add some extra passion in the bedroom – or living room. The game is simple and you can start playing immediately –
- Coming Out to Your Partner About Your Unconventional Desires
In an earlier blog we talked about why it’s important to talk with your partner very specifically about your sexual desires. We can’t emphasize enough how essential talking about sex is if you want your sex life to last and be fulfilling. Yet, because of our society’s general