How to Avoid Cheating
Cheating doesn’t just happen. When people make a commitment to their partner, they usually plan to keep it and if they choose to cheat or have an affair there is a reason behind their choice. To understand why people cheat read our blog.
If you are determined not to cheat you came to the right place. To avoid a situation where one of you is choosing to have an affair instead of being honest about your needs and desires you will ultimately need to create a safe space where each person’s desires can be shared openly. Every couple has some sort of spoken or unspoken relationship contract. Many couples do not do a good job of communicating their contract so they are not aware of each other’s expectations in the relationship. Even if you are aware of the expectations you each have, we find that many couples don’t open their relationship contract and don’t update it. Instead of looking at your marriage or relationship contract as a fixed entity, you will need to accept that your needs and desires will change throughout your lives and that you will need to develop tools to renegotiate if some agreement you have made isn’t working. If you are in a long term relationship and you have never talked about your unspoken contract working with a Somatica Sex Therapist and Relationship Coach is a great opportunity to do so.
In Somatica sex therapy, sex coaching and relationship coaching sessions you and your partner will have a supportive, non-judgmental and caring conversation about each of yours needs and desires. You will explore how each of you feel about these desires and learn how to negotiate when your desires are different. In session, you will talk about your unspoken relationship contract and see what is working for you and what isn’t. Then you will have an opportunity to consciously co-create a relationship contract that is responsive to each of your needs and boundaries. You will explore what your relationship is capable of giving you and talk openly about what to do if there are needs that are not being met in the relationship.
- Something Meaty for the Sandwich
Ok, we know, we are skipping ahead, but we’ll get back to integrity and openness soon! Right now, all we can think about it something meaty to bite into. Hmmmmmm, maybe we’re ovulating! When we say that a love sandwich needs something meaty to bite into we mean this
- Will You Star in My Movie?
Just about everyone has a fantasy or set of fantasies about what their best sexual experience would look like (your “movie”), yet, we rarely share these desires with our partner. Most people are scared to share their true fantasies of what their movie looks like – let’s face it,
- Coming Out to Your Partner About Your Unconventional Desires
In an earlier blog we talked about why it’s important to talk with your partner very specifically about your sexual desires. We can’t emphasize enough how essential talking about sex is if you want your sex life to last and be fulfilling. Yet, because of our society’s general
- The Relationship Vortex
You want your relationship to be great and yet, for reasons you cannot figure out, you end up in the same conversation or with the same fights over and over again. We call this The Relationship Vortex – it is the place where your deepest hurts touch your partners
- Monogamy: Just One Item On The Menu?
… approach monogamy as just one of the items on the menu, not as the only thing possible.
- What You Don’t Know about Desire is Killing Your Sex Life
It seems that everywhere we look we see couples in long term relationship suffering from challenges in their intimacy and sexual connection. More than half of all marriages end in divorce and a large number of those who stay married report feeling dissatisfaction in their sexual and emotional connection.
- Beyond Fifty Shades: How to Star in Your Own Dominant/Submissive Movie
With the phenomenon of Fifty Shades of Grey, Rihanna’s S&M and other popular representations, Dominant/Submissive fantasies are coming out of the darkness and into the mainstream imagination. However, these iterations often gloss over the core needs such fantasies satisfy. After seeing hundreds of clients, we can confirm that many
- A Love Sandwich Cont’d – Celebration
Love requires celebration! Celebration can only happen when you slow down and take time out of your busy schedule to delight in your connection with yourself and your partner. We live in a world that rewards endless striving and encourages personal disastisfaction and judgment of yourself and others. This