How to Avoid Cheating
Cheating doesn’t just happen. When people make a commitment to their partner, they usually plan to keep it and if they choose to cheat or have an affair there is a reason behind their choice. To understand why people cheat read our blog.
If you are determined not to cheat you came to the right place. To avoid a situation where one of you is choosing to have an affair instead of being honest about your needs and desires you will ultimately need to create a safe space where each person’s desires can be shared openly. Every couple has some sort of spoken or unspoken relationship contract. Many couples do not do a good job of communicating their contract so they are not aware of each other’s expectations in the relationship. Even if you are aware of the expectations you each have, we find that many couples don’t open their relationship contract and don’t update it. Instead of looking at your marriage or relationship contract as a fixed entity, you will need to accept that your needs and desires will change throughout your lives and that you will need to develop tools to renegotiate if some agreement you have made isn’t working. If you are in a long term relationship and you have never talked about your unspoken contract working with a Somatica Sex Therapist and Relationship Coach is a great opportunity to do so.
In Somatica sex therapy, sex coaching and relationship coaching sessions you and your partner will have a supportive, non-judgmental and caring conversation about each of yours needs and desires. You will explore how each of you feel about these desires and learn how to negotiate when your desires are different. In session, you will talk about your unspoken relationship contract and see what is working for you and what isn’t. Then you will have an opportunity to consciously co-create a relationship contract that is responsive to each of your needs and boundaries. You will explore what your relationship is capable of giving you and talk openly about what to do if there are needs that are not being met in the relationship.
- Coming Out to Your Partner About Your Unconventional Desires
In an earlier blog we talked about why it’s important to talk with your partner very specifically about your sexual desires. We can’t emphasize enough how essential talking about sex is if you want your sex life to last and be fulfilling. Yet, because of our society’s general
- Forget Everything You Think You Know about Perfect Sex
Unless you live under a rock (with no cave drawings in sight), chances are you are constantly bombarded with images of perfect sex. Weather you watch romantic movies, porn, music videos or all of the above, your head is full of unrealistic, fantasy-fueled depictions of sex. Romantic movies show
- If They Loved Me, They Would Know What I Want
Even if you are dating a professional psychic, they will not be able to predict all of your sexual and emotional needs, especially as they shift and change over time. The idea that “If they loved me, they would know what I want” is one of the most harmful
- Fair or Fulfilling – What kind of relationship do you want?
Relationships aren’t fair. In our practice, we see a lot of hurt come from the idea that people are supposed to have perfect equality in relationship on everything from work to child-rearing, from emotional support to time with friends.
- The Relationship Vortex
You want your relationship to be great and yet, for reasons you cannot figure out, you end up in the same conversation or with the same fights over and over again. We call this The Relationship Vortex – it is the place where your deepest hurts touch your partners
- A Love Sandwich Cont’d – Celebration
Love requires celebration! Celebration can only happen when you slow down and take time out of your busy schedule to delight in your connection with yourself and your partner. We live in a world that rewards endless striving and encourages personal disastisfaction and judgment of yourself and others. This
- Monogamy: Just One Item On The Menu?
… approach monogamy as just one of the items on the menu, not as the only thing possible.
- More Confidence in Relationships
Nobody is perfect, yet sometimes we act as if we are flawless and blameless in our relationships. How to be more confident in relationships starts by letting go of perfection and working towards reconnection.