Celeste & Danielle Offer Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Passionate, Connected and Fulfilling Life

Cockfidence 3rd Quality – Confidence

If we take a broad-brush approach to the idea of sexual mastery, we can say that blocks to mastery are, in almost every case, perpetuated and exacerbated by anxiety about performance. It is not surprising that a lot of men experience performance anxiety since boys are socialized around having to prove they are always capable and competent. When men doubt their competence they begin to loose confidence in themselves, which leads to performance anxiety.

We do not refer to sexual issues as sexual dysfunctions. This is because many instances of what doctors and sex therapists refer to as sexual dysfunction in this culture are actually functional response to dysfunctional situations or beliefs. In other words, quick ejaculation, inability to get an erection or an inability to orgasm may be your body giving you an important message. It may be saying, “this situation is too anxiety producing for me and I am not comfortable.” Or, it may be saying “When she is critical of me all the time, I don’t really want to go inside there” or “I don’t know how to trust a woman enough to fully let go with her” or, “I’m going to get in and out really quickly because she probably doesn’t like this.”

To regain the confidence of sexual mastery, we focus on the body and of experiencing sensation, not tuning away from it. There are some simple steps to do so, and it begins with slowing down…

Comments ( 4 )

    • Carola says:

      Serious fan with this site, a bunch of you articles have really helped me out. Looking forward to posts!

    • eammon says:

      inability to get an erection or an inability to orgasm may be your body giving you an important message. It may be saying, “this situation is too anxiety producing for me and I am not comfortable.” Or, it may be saying “When she is critical of me all the time, I don’t really want to go inside there” or “I don’t know how to trust a woman enough to fully let go with her” or, “I’m going to get in and out really quickly because she probably doesn’t like this.” WOW, that describes my problem in the words I could not find. Yes, I find myself very unsure when attempting to have sex with my wife of 35 years because of this. Key words; inability, anxiety, critical, trust, doesnt like this. There is a committee that holds a meeting in my head when I try to have sex. They keep on reminding me of prior negative experiences and reactions from my wife in these intimant moments. I wish the committee would hold their meetings at a different time.

    • scott says:

      Where do I go to see the rest of this article??? “it begins with slowing down…”

      What? I understand that, based on just reading that sentence, but where do I find your explanation of it??