Exposed

“Women reach their sexual peak at age 35. Men reach theirs at 18. Do you get the feeling that God is into practical jokes? We reach our sexual peak just as they’re coming to realize they have a favorite chair?” – Comedienne Rita Rudner

We love Rita and her wonderful commentary on the confusing belief about women’s sexual peak, and we want to unravel some misconceptions about a woman’s sexual peak vs. her physiological peak to help you understand your own sexual maturation.

Women reach their hormonal sexual peak during their teens (puberty), just the same way that boys do. As we grow older, especially in our late 30s, our hormonal levels decrease, decreasing our physiological sexual drive. This means as we age, our bodies desire sex less. (With spikes in desire around ovulation and menstruation until menopause.) After menopause, our bodies want sex less overall and we lose the spikes.  Thus, our physiological sexual peak happens in our teens – so why do we say women reach their sexual peak at 35? It has nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with the society we live in.

Although we may be in our hormonal peak just after puberty, girls are warned of the dangers of sex: pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections and being seen as a slut. We then distance from our sexuality. Eventually women begin to figure out what they want sexually and begin to be much more direct in asking for it. (This usually happens from running across a lover who is attentive, attuned and skilled, or from reading about sexual pleasure, learning from friends or learning through self-pleasuring.) This learning leads to what has been commonly known as our “sexual peak.” Sex feels better and we generally learn how to orgasm more consistently or even how to have multiple orgasms. Often, a woman’s G-Spot is awakened in their 30s and they have the ability to have G-Spot or combination orgasms.

The earlier you begin learning about and expanding your own sexual responsiveness the more your hormones support this learning. Beginning sooner rather than later gives you the opportunity to embody your highest sexual potential. And remember, it is never too late! If you want to find out what is on the menu for you sexually so you can expand your responsiveness, your desire for sex and find out more about what’s in it for you come see us for some coaching! You can also gain a lot of information about yourself from reading the second half of Cockfidence (and more information about men by reading the first half) and your partner can become more sensitive and attuned by attending Cockfidence: The Workshop. Our dream for you is that you know what you want, know how to ask for it and get it in every area of your life from relationship to work, from sex to friendships and in everything else – we are here to help. Call us any time if you have any questions. We answer our phones and would love to talk! (415) 336-3258

We just sent out this article to our newsletter subscribers but wanted to make it more accessible so you would have some good gift ideas for yourself or your sweetie this holiday season. You can sign up to receive our newsletter here!

This year for the holidays we thought we’d share our list of essentials when it comes to adult toys. We made a list and checked it twice and here the must-haves both naughty and nice (If you are in the San Francisco Bay Area, all of these are available at Good Vibes):

• The Hitachi Magic Wand – if you like a lot of stimulation and don’t mind a plug-in the Magic Wand rarely fails to please. For something a bit lighter, battery-operated and with a larger variety of settings, you might also like the Mystic Wand.
• A Massage Candle – these amazing items burn like candles but act like oil so you can enjoy a lovely hot-oil massage by candle-light.
• A big, pump-bottle of Liquid Silk lube (compatible with condoms) – lube is a must-have and, after extensive personal research, we have found the wettest, loveliest lube around. The pump bottle is essential, no mess and no caps to unscrew.
• An Ostrich Feather – or any other types of ticklers, teasers and skin pleasers from scarves to back scratchers should be kept near the bed.
• A Fun Wand Metal Dildo – for internal adventures, we highly recommend these visually stunning and lovingly crafted metal toys. Try warming them up under hot water first if the weather is cold and get creative!

One basic you can’t get at Good Vibes but men shouldn’t do without (you can get it on Amazon):

• Biotone Advanced Therapy Massage Gel – for personal pleasure try this massage gel. It’s slippery without being drippy and so much fun (not compatible with condoms).

Happy Holidays -  C & D

Each week, we post on our blog a portion of a chapter in our upcoming book for men, Cockfidence – The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild. Cockfidence shares the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Sensuality is the ninth quality and the ninth chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 9 – Sensuality —

G-Spot Orgasms:

Some people say that women reach their sexual peak at 40. While this is not hormonally accurate, we believe this might be particularly true for women who discover G-Spot pleasure later in life. G-Spot stimulation can add a whole new level of pleasure to your partner’s sex life, substantially increasing her orgasmic potential.

The most important piece of information that you and your partner need to know about the G-Spot is that its capacity for sensation develops throughout a woman’s lifetime. Some women believe that they don’t have a G-Spot because, when the area is touched, they don’t feel immediate sensation or arousal. They may even feel some irritation. This just means that the G-Spot has not yet been developed to its full potential. To awaken the G-Spot, you need to massage it and give it focused stimulation over time.

For a small percentage of women, the G-Spot develops early and is naturally where they feel a lot of sensation. However, for many women, the G-Spot has not yet been developed and it can take weeks or sometimes even a year of consistent stimulation for a woman to feel pleasure from it. Unfortunately, because many women have been told that the G-Spot is a myth, when they feel numbness or irritation from G-Spot stimulation, they give up and don’t explore the potential pleasure that is there for them.

Here we will detail locating and massaging techniques for the G-Spot, and bringing your partner’s entire body along for the ride….

Sure, our pussies change over our lifetime, but we certainly weren’t expecting these changes to feel soooooooooooo good! When we first became business partners neither one of us were G-spot girls; we had spent our childhood masturbatory explorations and our adult sexual experiences completely clit-focused. And then we discovered perhaps one of the best-kept secrets of female sexuality. Namely, the sensitivity of the G-spot and a woman’s potential for mind-blowing G-spot orgasm develops over time. Don’t get us wrong, clitoral orgasms are GREAT and we would never want to promote a hierarchy of orgasm, but we do want women to know that their orgasms can be both multi AND multi-dimensional. Over the past 3 years of G-spot exploration, both of our G-spots have grown larger and developed extraordinary sensitivity. And we’ve both learned to ejaculate, sometimes with and sometimes without orgasm. The clit at times can feel like a fuse, you might need it to light up, but eventually you get to the BOMB – explosive internal orgasms that shoot through your body and make you scream. And, you can add another dimension by accessing the G-spot anally, or by giving the cervix stimulation as well. The more dimensions, the more intensity and the more you will want. We don’t want any woman to miss out on her potential to be as big sexually and emotionally as she can be!