Exposed

We recently launched our book “Cockfidence – The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild”, a straightforward guide that will show you how to attract sexual desire from women and bring them to the heights of their erotic and orgasmic potential. You will find your personal power, clarify who you are and what you want in your life, and have mind-blowing sex and passionate connections with women.

For the next few weeks we will post excerpts of our book here.  We are convinced you will enjoy this preview so much that you will order your own copy!

Enjoy week one!

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INTRODUCTION

In our practice, we meet men who want to be themselves and understand what women want sexually and interpersonally. We have so much compassion for men; men and women are very different and it can be very confusing to try to figure out what women want. In the process of connecting with women, there are many stumbling blocks that may pull you out of your center. These include hiding your sexual desire for fear of rejection; misunderstanding women, their emotions and their desires; or fearing that connecting with a woman in any way means making a commitment, even if you aren’t ready.

There is an art to becoming the kind of man who claims his own desires and satisfies a woman’s deepest longings. This book teaches you the secret connection between stepping into your power and igniting a woman’s desire. The secret is found in your connection with your sexual energy and we call this connection Cockfidence.

This book is for all men whether single, dating, in a relationship or married; it also for all women who want to support the men in their lives and learn about their own sexuality. For a man who is single or dating, Cockfidence means you approach women with ease and playfulness and attract them with sincerity, not deception. You are also confident in your sexual desire and know you’ve got what it takes to please them sexually. For men in a new relationship, Cockfidence means knowing your partner wants you. You also know how to create a safe space where your partner can open up to you and give all of herself, sexually and emotionally. For men in long-term relationship or married men, Cockfidence means that, once the honeymoon period is over and the hormones are fading, you know how to keep seduction and creativity alive. You also leave room for growth and change in your sex life and your relationship. Finally, this book is for women who want to better understand themselves and their partner and support him in growing his Cockfidence.

The relationship between your power and freedom and women’s sexual desire (and her own freedom and power) is complex. There are no books or experts out there who lay it all out in one place. There are pieces about how to be a good technical lover and how to pick up and bed women, and some even touch on long-term relationships with women. Others cover masculine power or uncovering the mystery of women, but no book has brought all of these aspects together in one short, straight-forward and practical manual. Until now.

Each week, we post on our blog a portion of a chapter in our upcoming book for men, Cockfidence – The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild. Cockfidence shares the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  This is the last entry before we have Sensualité, our book launch party at 111 Minna in SF — http://www.celesteanddanielle.com/party.html — where there will be fun and sexy performances, dancing, and a few surprises including our new, wonderful book.  We will have many copies on hand for sale.  So, here our book sneak-peek concludes with an invitation to integrate the 9 Qualities and living a full, fearless life.

— Live your Life Fully and Fearlessly —
By living your life fully and fearlessly, you now have the power to choose to create experiences for yourself and with others that give you the most pleasure, satisfaction and inspiration. By focusing on yourself and letting go of perfection, you find acceptance for who you are and bring curiosity and appreciation to your partner. By continuing to live life through the 9 Qualities of an Extraordinary Lover, you emerge every day as the most magnetic, exciting, powerful manifestation of yourself.

In addition, you have learned how to love women authentically from the depth of who you are. Many men say that they love women. More than any words you might say, it is the actions you take that show whether you are compatible with an amazing woman and able to inspire your partner to her greatest strengths. On this pathway, you have learned to experience women with empathy and support. Your ability to dive in and connect – without merging and clinging, and without holding back and resenting – is the evidence of love.

When you love women and desire them in every moment and with all of your heart and soul, when you can love women as they are, whether they are joyful, sad, excited or angry, you have transcended the fear that women tend to inspire in men. When you fully love and accept women, you see them as people with a purpose, as equals, as powerful agents of change, and as an inspiration. You invite women to be their whole selves because their bigness does not threaten you or make you feel small. Through living the 9 Qualities, you can be with a woman from a place of power and bravery, a place of true Cockfidence.

Each week, we post on our blog a portion of a chapter in our upcoming book for men, Cockfidence – The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild. Cockfidence shares the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Sensuality is the ninth quality and the ninth chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 9 – Sensuality —

G-Spot Orgasms:

Some people say that women reach their sexual peak at 40. While this is not hormonally accurate, we believe this might be particularly true for women who discover G-Spot pleasure later in life. G-Spot stimulation can add a whole new level of pleasure to your partner’s sex life, substantially increasing her orgasmic potential.

The most important piece of information that you and your partner need to know about the G-Spot is that its capacity for sensation develops throughout a woman’s lifetime. Some women believe that they don’t have a G-Spot because, when the area is touched, they don’t feel immediate sensation or arousal. They may even feel some irritation. This just means that the G-Spot has not yet been developed to its full potential. To awaken the G-Spot, you need to massage it and give it focused stimulation over time.

For a small percentage of women, the G-Spot develops early and is naturally where they feel a lot of sensation. However, for many women, the G-Spot has not yet been developed and it can take weeks or sometimes even a year of consistent stimulation for a woman to feel pleasure from it. Unfortunately, because many women have been told that the G-Spot is a myth, when they feel numbness or irritation from G-Spot stimulation, they give up and don’t explore the potential pleasure that is there for them.

Here we will detail locating and massaging techniques for the G-Spot, and bringing your partner’s entire body along for the ride….

We just answered a message we found on a Men’s Health blog and wanted to share it with you.

Q: My wife and I want to spice things up, but she says she doesn’t have any fantasies she wants to fulfill. Is that possible?

A: We have found that women often freeze up in response to questions about fantasies. In answer to your question about how to spice up your sex life and find out more about women’s fantasies we’d like to offer you an excerpt from our upcoming book – Cockfidence – “Each woman has her own ideal seduction ‘movie’ – an assortment of thoughts about the kind of seduction that she wants to experience with her partner. Many women have daydreams about how they want their relationships with men to look, and what kinds of looks, words, acts, and gestures would fill their hearts and wet their pussies, but they often don’t identify these thoughts as fantasies because they are not overtly sexual. This is especially true for women whose ideal seduction fantasy is Romantic.”

Women’s fantasies of seduction generally fall into one or a combination of 3 categories – Romantic, Passionate, and Dominant – which we cover in depth in the upcoming book. To get a better answer to your question about your partner’s fantasy, try asking a woman what her perfect date would look like from beginning to end – this should give you plenty of hints into her ideal seduction.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book for men. This book holds the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Spontaneity, (or the combination of  creativity and Flexibility) is the eight quality and the eight chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 8 – Spontaneity —

Nothing captures the idea of the passionate seduction more than the passionate kiss, depicted in so many movies by this time it might look cliché to you, but it doesn’t look or feel cliché to woman. It is important to begin with a passionate look, letting all of the animalistic desire come in to yours eyes and hold it before jumping right into a kiss. If you go too quickly to the kiss, you don’t allow any tension and excitement to build. When you wait, you allow yourself and her to build into a frenzy of desire where you can’t rip each other’s clothes off fast enough. Make sure you aren’t spilling your passion all over her; at the beginning, hold it in your eyes, and invite her energy to come to you. When you feel she is locked in, then set your inner animal free.

There are some common pitfalls with passion. You may fear that desiring women in this way is objectifying and that she will feel like you only want her for sex. On the contrary, being desired intensely is one of the most common fantasies women have. At the same time, she also wants to know that you are connected to her. You do this by bringing in eye contact, saying her name passionately, or commenting specifically on the things that drive you crazy about her.

You may also fear that bringing this kind of energy will overwhelm a woman as though women are delicate and easily broken. This could cause you to hold back your passion, especially if you feel that you have too much or that it will not be received. On the contrary, most women’s bodies are strong enough to receive all the passion you have in your body for her and more. She may be surprised by it at first, which is why it takes confidence to stay with the feeling and not allow her embarrassment or surprise to pull you both out of it. Instead, with your passionate look and your focused confidence, you pull her into the hottest experiences you have ever had.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book for men. This book holds the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Curiosity is the seventh quality and the seventh chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 7 – Curiosity —

Often, when a man enters into an experience with a particular woman, he can attempt to avoid any perceived “negative” experiences and skirt around any challenges. This can result in the man being very outcome-driven, self-critical, judgmental or fearful,.  This approach hinders the natural flow of energy between two people, and makes it much more likely that an interaction will end up feeling difficult, stilted and unsatisfactory.

A much more comfortable place from which to approach women – and the world in general – is from a place of curiosity. Curiosity is a way of looking at each new experience from a receptive, open place, without judgment or any sense of what the outcome might be. You just feel an experience in the moment. Taking this approach gives you an opportunity to see what you can learn about yourself and the women in your life.

This state of open curiosity need not only apply when you are connecting with a woman for the first time, but can be an ongoing approach. The beauty of curiosity is that it allows for the natural joys and challenges that happen over time between two people. An ongoing state of curiosity also acknowledges that either you or the woman you are interacting with can and will change over time. So often in relationships a desire to control the unknown leads to stagnation and boredom. An attitude of curiosity joyfully invites the unknown, making room for ongoing growth, excitement and passion between you and your partner.
In this chapter, we offer you information about women that might help you better understand their different psychology and biology. This information is general information that is true about most women. While we offer generalizations, make sure to stay curious about the unique ways that these show up in your partner.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book, in which we write about the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Empathy is the sixth quality and the sixth chapter – here is a brief excerpt:

— Chapter 6 – Empathy —

Your ability to empathize has a huge bearing on your sex life, and particularly on whether you are going to get sex, how often, and how good the sex will be. When you tune into your own emotions by feeling the sensations in your body, you will begin not only to feel when a woman desires you, but specifically what her body wants in sexual and intimate situations. Imagine your body is an antennae for her feelings – you can’t be in her body, but you can listen to her through your own.

Men are often taught to distance from their own emotions in order to appear strong. Distancing from your own emotions, however, decreases your sense of empathy, making it more difficult for you to read a woman’s emotions, including sexual desires and cues. By fully connecting with your own body and your emotions, you can stop intellectualizing emotions and start feeling them; instead of thinking about what your partner is feeling, you actually feel it.

Embodied empathy also sensitizes your radar towards her more difficult emotions such as sadness and anger, allowing you to catch early warnings signs. This helps interrupt the escalation of drama and fights. With a little bit of practice, you can enhance your embodied empathy increasing your likelihood to have more great sex and less drama.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book, in which we write about the 9 qualities that will allow men to reclaim their sense of power, understand and express their sexual desires, drive women wild sexually, and maintain their personal sense of freedom.  Passion is the fifth quality and the fifth chapter – here is a brief excerpt:

— Chapter 5 – Passion —

Men rarely have a chance to develop a true enjoyment of their own desire as an essential part of their masculinity. Early on, you were given messages from parents, friends, television, religious institutions and schools about both men’s and women’s sexuality. As boys, you probably got the message, at least covertly, that men are sexual and that this sexuality is a natural, animalistic drive. At the same time, you may have gotten the message that this drive is overpowering, wrong, and dangerous and that you have to learn how to temper and control it. In other situations, you may have been given the message you should go out and exercise this drive as much as you want to. You should, “sew your wild oats” and “play the field.”

At the same time, both you and the girls around you were told that girls are not really sexual people, and men are often told that their sexual drive will not be received or reciprocated by women. In your own life, the combination of these two messages – that boys have an overpowering, animalistic sexuality and that girls are basically without a sexual drive – most likely led you to feel at least some level of discomfort with your sexuality. At worst, it caused you to lose touch with your own sexual power and confidence in your desires.

Your desire for women, sex, and pleasure are the most natural desires you have – they are built in to your body in order for the species to survive. However, often when men feel desire and they have been told that it is wrong, the desire makes them anxious. As soon as it arises, they feel like they have to DO something about it.

The next time you see a gorgeous woman that you want to have sex with, try standing up straight, taking a deep breath, and feeling your desire flow through your body. Feel how good it feels that you still have this desire in your body; it means that you are alive and inspired, it is really not about her and there is nothing to DO about it…

This week we continue a blog-per-week from each chapter in our upcoming book, in which we write about the 9 qualities that will allow men to reclaim their sense of power, understand and express their sexual desires, drive women wild sexually, and maintain their personal sense of freedom.  Generosity is the fourth quality and the fourth chapter:

—– Chapter 4 – Generosity —–

A common example of a potentially generous offering is the backrub. There are two very different ways to give a woman a backrub. The first approach is to offer a backrub as a way to get to sex. You half-heartedly kneed and rub her shoulders trying to figure out how quickly you can begin touching her butt, kissing her neck and getting between her legs.

The second approach is to give a woman a backrub because you feel generous and enjoy seeing her feel relaxed. You take your time, you notice what parts of her body respond and relax under your touch. You enjoy each stroke you are offering. If it leads to sex – great. If not – great! If it is a truly generous backrub, you will actually feel her pleasure in your own body. Both the giver and receiver can feel the same physical pleasure from the same backrub.

There are 6 steps to becoming a truly generous person:
1)    Give what you enjoy giving
2)    Know your boundaries
3)    Face conflicts
4)    Learn to say and hear “no”
5)    Pass your woman’s test
6)    Build communication and trust

We continue our weekly sneak peek of each chapter of our upcoming book with the third chapter. Confidence is the third of nine qualities for men to possess in order to reclaim your sense of power, understand and express your sexual desires, drive women wild sexually and maintain your personal sense of freedom.

— Chapter 3 – Confidence —

If we take a broad-brush approach to the idea of sexual mastery, we can say that blocks to mastery are, in almost every case, perpetuated and exacerbated by anxiety about performance. It is not surprising that a lot of men experience performance anxiety since boys are socialized around having to prove they are always capable and competent. When men doubt their competence they begin to loose confidence in themselves, which leads to performance anxiety.

We do not refer to sexual issues as sexual dysfunctions. This is because many instances of what doctors and sex therapists refer to as sexual dysfunction in this culture are actually functional response to dysfunctional situations or beliefs. In other words, quick ejaculation, inability to get an erection or an inability to orgasm may be your body giving you an important message. It may be saying, “this situation is too anxiety producing for me and I am not comfortable.” Or, it may be saying “When she is critical of me all the time, I don’t really want to go inside there” or “I don’t know how to trust a woman enough to fully let go with her” or, “I’m going to get in and out really quickly because she probably doesn’t like this.”

To regain the confidence of sexual mastery, we focus on the body and of experiencing sensation, not tuning away from it. There are some simple steps to do so, and it begins with slowing down…