Exposed

Each week, we post on our blog a portion of a chapter in our upcoming book for men, Cockfidence – The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild. Cockfidence shares the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Sensuality is the ninth quality and the ninth chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 9 – Sensuality —

G-Spot Orgasms:

Some people say that women reach their sexual peak at 40. While this is not hormonally accurate, we believe this might be particularly true for women who discover G-Spot pleasure later in life. G-Spot stimulation can add a whole new level of pleasure to your partner’s sex life, substantially increasing her orgasmic potential.

The most important piece of information that you and your partner need to know about the G-Spot is that its capacity for sensation develops throughout a woman’s lifetime. Some women believe that they don’t have a G-Spot because, when the area is touched, they don’t feel immediate sensation or arousal. They may even feel some irritation. This just means that the G-Spot has not yet been developed to its full potential. To awaken the G-Spot, you need to massage it and give it focused stimulation over time.

For a small percentage of women, the G-Spot develops early and is naturally where they feel a lot of sensation. However, for many women, the G-Spot has not yet been developed and it can take weeks or sometimes even a year of consistent stimulation for a woman to feel pleasure from it. Unfortunately, because many women have been told that the G-Spot is a myth, when they feel numbness or irritation from G-Spot stimulation, they give up and don’t explore the potential pleasure that is there for them.

Here we will detail locating and massaging techniques for the G-Spot, and bringing your partner’s entire body along for the ride….

We just answered a message we found on a Men’s Health blog and wanted to share it with you.

Q: My wife and I want to spice things up, but she says she doesn’t have any fantasies she wants to fulfill. Is that possible?

A: We have found that women often freeze up in response to questions about fantasies. In answer to your question about how to spice up your sex life and find out more about women’s fantasies we’d like to offer you an excerpt from our upcoming book – Cockfidence – “Each woman has her own ideal seduction ‘movie’ – an assortment of thoughts about the kind of seduction that she wants to experience with her partner. Many women have daydreams about how they want their relationships with men to look, and what kinds of looks, words, acts, and gestures would fill their hearts and wet their pussies, but they often don’t identify these thoughts as fantasies because they are not overtly sexual. This is especially true for women whose ideal seduction fantasy is Romantic.”

Women’s fantasies of seduction generally fall into one or a combination of 3 categories – Romantic, Passionate, and Dominant – which we cover in depth in the upcoming book. To get a better answer to your question about your partner’s fantasy, try asking a woman what her perfect date would look like from beginning to end – this should give you plenty of hints into her ideal seduction.

We continue our blog-per-week from a chapter in our upcoming book for men. This book holds the 9 qualities that allow men to reclaim their sense of power and freedom, understand and express their sexual desires, and drive women wild sexually.  Spontaneity, (or the combination of  creativity and Flexibility) is the eight quality and the eight chapter – here is a small taste:

— Chapter 8 – Spontaneity —

Nothing captures the idea of the passionate seduction more than the passionate kiss, depicted in so many movies by this time it might look cliché to you, but it doesn’t look or feel cliché to woman. It is important to begin with a passionate look, letting all of the animalistic desire come in to yours eyes and hold it before jumping right into a kiss. If you go too quickly to the kiss, you don’t allow any tension and excitement to build. When you wait, you allow yourself and her to build into a frenzy of desire where you can’t rip each other’s clothes off fast enough. Make sure you aren’t spilling your passion all over her; at the beginning, hold it in your eyes, and invite her energy to come to you. When you feel she is locked in, then set your inner animal free.

There are some common pitfalls with passion. You may fear that desiring women in this way is objectifying and that she will feel like you only want her for sex. On the contrary, being desired intensely is one of the most common fantasies women have. At the same time, she also wants to know that you are connected to her. You do this by bringing in eye contact, saying her name passionately, or commenting specifically on the things that drive you crazy about her.

You may also fear that bringing this kind of energy will overwhelm a woman as though women are delicate and easily broken. This could cause you to hold back your passion, especially if you feel that you have too much or that it will not be received. On the contrary, most women’s bodies are strong enough to receive all the passion you have in your body for her and more. She may be surprised by it at first, which is why it takes confidence to stay with the feeling and not allow her embarrassment or surprise to pull you both out of it. Instead, with your passionate look and your focused confidence, you pull her into the hottest experiences you have ever had.

Dating can be a fun adventure or a big, huge drag – usually it is a combination of the two. Because of the drag part and because most of us would rather be in a relationship than dating, people end up doing something we call “Consoli-Dating”. This means that they go on a couple of crappy coffee dates, finally find someone with whom they feel some chemistry and, before they even begin to get to know one another, decide to be exclusive. In other words, this tiny little sprout of a connection, which has barely begun to grow, suddenly has all the pressures on it of a full-blown relationship. This means two people who don’t even know whether they can survive a weekend trip together are either evaluating whether or not they have the same life goals, values, and child-rearing methods or denying any red flags that might come up because they are already committed.

We suggest you try dating in a way that can let connections grow slowly and organically and without so much pressure. Here are some tips to make dating less of a drag:

1) Make the first date short and non-committal – coffee, tea, a walk, or happy hour or something much more interesting, but still quickly escapable.

2) Don’t Market…Be Yourself – think of a date as seeing how it feels to hang out with someone. This means you actually have to let yourself hang out. Don’t make it a marketing session or an interview, connection is about chemistry not checking off a list of must-haves.

3) Not Working? Say Goodbye – As soon as you know that you don’t like someone that way, gently let them down. You are NEVER doing them a favor if you aren’t interested, you are wasting their time.

4) Most Important – Don’t Consoli-Date. Whether or not you are, most people you are dating are marketing, often for months. This means you might not even begin to see many aspects of who they are for a while. During this time of getting to know them, continue to date other people or at least leave open the option to do so. If you do, you might actually allow a tiny little bud to blossom into something great.

While conservatives often deny their need for sexual variety, it  turns out that the states that are full of folks claiming  “I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage” are the same states that purchase the most porn. New research published in the Journal of Economic Perspectives shows that those states whose residents vote more conservatively and support such statements as “AIDS might be God’s punishment for immoral sexual behavior” actually purchase slightly more porn than more liberally voting states. Sex is one of our most basic and natural drives, and sexual repression and sex negativity sends our desires underground where they are bound to come out many ways. In light of this recent research, we want to reach out to everyone, regardless of your values, your politics or your sexual practices; we are here to support you in embracing your sexual desire and finding your fullest, most healthy expression of it.

We are so tired of the phrase “sexual dysfunction,” particularly when it is used to describe women who have not yet experienced their first orgasm. Here’s what we want you to know: you are not broken and you are not alone! Both women’s and men’s sexuality are truly extraordinary and multi-faceted and so often they are simply boiled down to whether or not we can come, how often and with what kinds of stimulation (i.e. with a vibrator or without a vibrator – for more on this check out our vibe blog). Yet, this is just one small part of our potential sexual joy and our sensuality. When we focus on it as a problem that needs to be fixed, we begin to lose the truth of ourselves, that, at our core, all women are sensuous goddesses whose bodies can experience sensation and pleasure and whose hearts can experience passion and connection. There are ways to learn to orgasm and we help many women have their first orgasm, however, this process begins with a return to your own desires, and a return to the knowledge that you are already a perfect, luscious and yes, sexual being with or without this particular set of muscle spasms.

In honor of the Giants winning the World Series (yay Giants!), we figured we’d offer a few brief words about sex and baseball. Baseball, like every other sport or physical activity, takes a certain kind of body-based learning. Do you think that the first time Renteria picked up a bat, he hit a home run? No way. And, as with baseball and any type of embodied learning, being a great lover takes more than just practice, it also takes a great coach! ;-) Let’s stay with the home run metaphor for a minute. Technique is very important, but there’s so much more – just having a great swing still won’t get you a home run. There’s having the desire, the confidence and the passion to do it, there’s knowing and playing by the rules, picking up on the pitcher’s pitches, and feeling into your own body and knowing what you are capable of. Much of the information out there on being a great lover is so limited to technique, however, that you might learn the perfect swing but will never get yourself a big-league at-bat to show it off. If you really want your lover to have unforgettable experiences with you over and over, you gotta bring all of yourself – desire in your eyes, confidence in your hands, connection with your passion and intention in your kiss. You have to read your lover’s cues, and be connected with them. Don’t just settle for a great swing – be the best player.  We’re here if you need us, we want to be your Bruce Bochy of Sex.