Exposed

We are so tired of the phrase “sexual dysfunction,” particularly when it is used to describe women who have not yet experienced their first orgasm. Here’s what we want you to know: you are not broken and you are not alone! Both women’s and men’s sexuality are truly extraordinary and multi-faceted and so often they are simply boiled down to whether or not we can come, how often and with what kinds of stimulation (i.e. with a vibrator or without a vibrator – for more on this check out our vibe blog). Yet, this is just one small part of our potential sexual joy and our sensuality. When we focus on it as a problem that needs to be fixed, we begin to lose the truth of ourselves, that, at our core, all women are sensuous goddesses whose bodies can experience sensation and pleasure and whose hearts can experience passion and connection. There are ways to learn to orgasm and we help many women have their first orgasm, however, this process begins with a return to your own desires, and a return to the knowledge that you are already a perfect, luscious and yes, sexual, being with or without this particular set of muscle spasms. In February, we will begin an ongoing women’s group for all women that will focus on empowerment in our erotic lives and our relationships. We invite you to join us and take your desires, your pleasures and your life into your own hands so you can create the most healthy and loving relationships you have ever had.

In the U.S., most of the words we consider to be “vulgar” are words that have to do with sex, or, at least with bodily functions. If something goes terribly wrong, we shout out words that indicate sexual intercourse or defecation and, to really offend someone, you either say something that indicates that they’ve had sex with their mother or that their mother is overly sexual, (i.e. no better than a female dog in heat). This isn’t true for every country. For example, when French Canadians swear, they use words like “calisse” (literally challis) or “tabarnak” (derived from tabernacle), words that disrespect the church or religion. We think the use of sex-based or body-based swear words is merely one more indication of the sex negativity of our society and we refuse to buy into it. Sure, the words we have in the U.S. may not be ideal, but that doesn’t mean we should borrow those of other cultures and eschew our own charged and imperfect options. So we choose to reclaim them, and we use these words in our workshops and in our day-to-day discussions of sexuality. We have our favorites, “cock” for men, “pussy” for women and we embrace all of your favorites as well. If one of our male clients comes in and has a dick, a peter or a “Goodyear Blimp”, we say “hooray,” if a woman comes in and she has a vulva, a cunt, or a “Clitty Cat,” we say “bravo.” In the South, when someone swears, you might hear another person quickly correct them by saying “don’t use Language with me.” Language is powerful, important and mutable (our use of words changes their meaning) and swear words are no more than that, a part of our language. We can use them lovingingly or with fear, we can give in to sex-negativity or make these words our own. So we say to all you men out there, “you have a beautiful cock” and to the women “you have the most luscious pussy”! We encourage you to be playful with sexual and sexy words and experience the joy of oral freedom. Try on some new ones everyday, make up some of your own and see which words fit best for you!