We love this Huffington Post article about why it is important to talk about sex. Firestone covers many of the conversations that you might want to have with your partner, but misses what we think is the most important one- what actually turns you on about sex. We don’t blame her because it just seems so obvious! However, most people never get very explicit with their sweethearts about what they want sexually.
For example, you might complain that you want more passion or romance, or that you need to be seduced, but these words mean different things and bring up different images and fantasies for every person. You might assume that your partners has the same image in their mind as you have and are withholding those goodies because “he doesn’t love me enough” or “she isn’t that interested.”
We’ve found that people who get together usually have slightly different to vastly different ways they would most like to be seduced and made love to – we call this your Hottest Sexual Movie. If you think back on your best sexual experiences or delve into your hottest fantasies, you will have an idea about what your movie is. Until you and your partner have a conversation about what is hot for you and go through an actual learning process with one another about your movies, sex can be boring and monotonous.
We want to note that sometimes the sex that turns you on the most might be embarrassing to talk about. Stay tuned for our upcoming blog where we introduce how to have conversations about less common sexual practices. If you know what you want and aren’t embarrassed, you need to be very specific and very gentle when you talk about your desires with your partner, as they are going through the learning curve of learning how to be an amazing lover to you. You need to talk, demonstrate, give positive, loving, and gently guiding feedback.
No matter how long you’ve been together, it is never too late to learn how to really turn each other on!